Every Fan Fiction Ever Written (Part 3)

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“Young lady! You are not walking out of this house!”

“I’m leaving!” I shout at my abusive parents, then storm out the door.

My adrenaline was racing. That was the first time I ever told my parents off. Finally, these last two weeks in which the entire relationship between me, Zack, and David resided had clearly changed me as a person. Probably, but not really, since I’m exactly the same person I was before.

Wow, a lot really had happened these last few weeks. First started dating David, then dumped him after finding out he was a former gang boss, then started dating Zack, only to dump him when it was plot convenient, only to almost kiss David, which Zack saw and became angry about despite the fact we weren’t dating. Zack then took me on a magical tour with him all across the country, then David showed up, then Zack, then David, then Zack again.

My most recent status with the two boys: I had walked in on Zack kissing his old flame, a girl who was in another all girl band. While they were dating, she had cheated on him, so he had left her. However, now she was back in my little town that no one comes to, to try to win Zack back. Of course, as soon as Zack saw me he pushed her away, although likely he was trying to push her away before he saw me. He was having a conversation with her where he was declaring he hated her and wanted nothing to do with her before she suddenly kissed him. However, he totally kissed a girl! So I ran away without making an attempt to let him explain himself. Clearly the right decision.

Meanwhile, David hasn’t been around for the last 24 hours, and totally ignored my last text so clearly he doesn’t love me and never had. Just as I finished expositioning, my phone began to ring.

“Hey?”

“Hey Boo (my friends call me boo now, I decided),” Jessica was on the other line.

“Hey, Jessica.”

“Are you alright? You sound bad on the phone!” Jessica exclaims.

“Yeah… my life is miserable right now. Zack is cheating on me with another girl, and David disappeared off the face of the earth. So I walked out on my parents.”

“Oh my gawd! I was going to go with my mom on her chemotherapy to provide emotional support, but clearly you need more support! Let’s go out drinking!”

“I could really use that, thank you for dropping everything to just cater to me, for second there I thought you might be more than my one dimensional support character by having your own issues and problems.”

“No problem, I literally exist to further your plot!”

Jessica drove up in her car. Jane was also in the car. Sara was mysteriously absent. We took off to the club that sells alcohol to high school students, and I got a strawberry daiquiri. It tingled on my tongue. The smooth taste of strawberry goodness drifted down my throat with each sip, followed by the subsequent numbing effect of the alcohol as all my worries went away. I moaned in orgasmic pleasure. The other girls didn’t notice, since they were having their own foodgasms. Jessica was drinking another fruity drink while Jane was eating peanuts, those succulent salty peanuts caressing her mouth with each bite, or so I’m told.

A bunch of older college guys approached us with a rapey vibe that we totally ignored.

“Hey, girls, want to hit the dance floor.”

I wasn’t really interested in dancing with these guys, what with dealing with my own severe emotional traumas and my deep, deep and never ending love for those two guys I met a couple of weeks ago. However, the other two girls convinced me to go, and my third drink convinced me the rest of the way.

I danced slutily on the dance floor while the guys put their hands all over me. Suddenly, one of the guys grabs my butt. Hey! I’m cool grinding my butt in his lap, but how dare he touch me with his hand! That’s sexual harassment! I slap the guy.

“Hey, what the hell!” The guy shouts, “Just for that, me and the guys are going to take you with us.”

“Wait, what? How did this happen?”

My two friends are nowhere in sight, although I was already pretty drunk so I probably didn’t notice them leaving earlier. The three college guys pick me up and carry me out of the club. They drag me into the parking lot while they wear evil looks in their eyes. Their faces now look demonic and monstrous as they contemplate what they’re about to do to me.

Suddenly, David pops up. “You bastards, get your hands off her.”

He gives the three guys an evil stare, and so intimidated by it, they drop me and run away. I stand up, still woozy from all the alcohol.

“Why the hell are you here!?” I shout unappreciatively, “I could myself, handled, it…”

“I got a text from one of your friends saying they saw you here, drinking with some guys.”

“So you heard I was with other guys and got jealous, then heard I was drunk and your immediate thought is to find me as quickly as possible?”

“No… that makes it sound creepy and stalkerish, I came to rescue you!”

“My hero…” I responded sarcastically.

Just then, my phone began to ring. I looked down at the text and my face became white. “You need to take me to the hospital now.”

“Why, what?”

“My parents… they were in a car crash.”

****

“We’re sorry honey.” My dad said.

We’re at the hospital now. My dad and mom are in hospital beds with all kind of wires and crap strapped up to them.

“Their diagnosis is not good,” The doctor explains. “The pair of them will be dead by the end of your conversation with them.”

Tears fell down my face. I can’t believe the last time I saw them I had walked out. Sure, I walked out because my dad was trying to beat me with a tire iron, but none of that matters now. These were the only step-parents I had, and now they were dying. I wonder how Zack is doing now? David was waiting out in the waiting room. Nevermind, that’s probably not important right now.

“Dying has given your father and I a new perspective on life.” My mother was saying.

“We realized that all the beatings and harassment we gave you over the years was a coping mechanism for our own inadequacies as parents. You were the perfect, awesomest, most greatest child who ever existed, and we blew it.” Father tightened his fist in anger at himself before breaking into a coughing fit.

“We wanted to give you this.” Mother stated.

There was an envelope in her hand that had mysteriously appeared there. I picked it up and opened it. It was a bank statement.

“Just before we were hit by the car, I had a change of heart. All the sweet sweet tax rebates we had gotten from having a kid we had collected over the years. We took it all and put it into a saving account for you.”

I saw the number and my eyes widened. “$1000? I’m like a millionaire now!”

Mother smiled weakly, “Yes… of course. That should last you until you’re an adult. And of course, all of our possessions are now yours. The sweet ass car, the house, our family fortune which we kept from you while living in abject poverty just because we’re dicks like that.”

Father spoke up. “We just want to let you know that we’re sorry, and we never meant to be so hard on you. We just wanted you to grow up… as… someone… great….”

The heart monitor flat lined and dad died.

“No… dad died.”

Mom spoke up. “Don’t worry about that right now. Let’s focus on you, the most important person in this room. You’ll continue on. Do you have any questions for me, any last things you want to tell me before I die?”

“Well… you see, there is this cute boy I like, but he’s the leader of a gang, and then there is this other boy I like, but I caught him kissing a girl, and…” I went on to tell her my long complex story with these two boys I met and have known for weeks now.

“So… anyway,” I continued, “What I’d like to know is should I get with David or get with Zack?”

I looked down at mom… her eyes were closed. There was a tap on my shoulder and I turned around to see the doctor standing there. “She’s been dead for the last 5 minutes. But personally, I’m team David all the way.”

The doctor provided his condolences and I left the room and went back to the waiting room. David stood up when I entered the room and ran up to me.

“I’m so sorry. It makes all of our personal lives seem trivial by comparison, huh?” David asked.

“Yeah… the sudden death of both my parents does seem slightly worse than having to choose between two boys I like. I think this event has changed me as a person. I’m totally going to have a new personality from now on.”

“Before you develop emotionally as a person,” David interrupted, “There is one more twist I have to provide for you. I just found out about it myself. Apparently a waiting room is a great source of information.”

“What is it?”

“The person driving the other car was none other than Zack!”


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