“You are Ryan, correct?” Allan nodded to Ryan as I settled myself down into the largest seat. “Jane has suggested that you are an Artificial Intelligence?”
“Do you mind if I open you up and see for myself?” Allan asked curiously.
“Please be gentle,” Ryan responded nervously as Allan began tinkering with the back of Ryan’s neck.
After a few moments, Allan spoke up. “Okay, I’ll go inside you. I’ll just start with the tip.”
“Will you guys work on phrasing?!” Rune cried out, covering his ears.
“I thought I was in a Samantha story for a second!” I quickly snapped out of my erotic trance.
“Ah! Slowly; it’s tight!” Ryan made a weird noise as Allan continued to tinker.
“I’ll be careful not to break you.”
“Seriously, guys?” Rune spoke up again.
Allan made an exasperated noise. “I don’t know what your problem is. I merely need to check his specs.”
“I, too, do not understand the problem. Is there a malfunction with my processing?” Ryan added.
“Look, guys, it’s just… when you say things like that…. I mean… and the weird noises…” Rune failed to find a way to explain it and then turned to me. “Jane?”
“Ah! Well, you see… when a man and another man love each other very much, sometimes, women like to watch-”
“Andrew!” Rune cuts me off immediately.
“Don’t get me involved!” Andrew protested. “It must be that demon blood that makes you think such dark things…”
“Are you telling me that what they said doesn’t sound even a little wrong to you? This is bullshit!”
“Will you please be quiet; I’m doing something delicate right now and you are distracting me. Perhaps you should head to the mess hall until I’m done,” Allan suggested firmly.
Rune grumbled as Andrew pulled him out of the room while bowing an apology to the grumpy looking Allan. I stayed back for just a second, looking. Allan seemed to be holding some kind of scanner up to the back of Ryan’s skull, which was now open and displaying some kind of circuit board. Ryan stared ahead, unblinking.
“Hey, um… since we were taken so suddenly, is it possible to call home?” I asked.
“Hm? Ah, yes; I’ve hacked into the communication satellites and set up a relay. Your cell phone should get a signal here,” Allan said without looking up from what he was doing.
I made a surprised noise and excitedly pulled out my phone. Just as he had said, the phone had full bars. I immediately dialed the person I needed to talk to the most at the moment.
“Jane? Where the hell are you? And now Andrew and Rune are missing too.” The voice was Alex in her female form.
“Hey, yeah. I’m sorry about earlier. I’m with Andrew and Rune. Everything is fine.” I tried to reassure her.
There was a long silence on the other end until the point I thought the line died, then Alex spoke softly. “Are… you doing it?”
“What? I’m not having sex! I told you, I’m with Andrew and Rune. Even Allan is here!”
There was another long silence. “Foursome?”
“No! What the hell are you talking about?”
“Hey. Samantha said if you were gone with the boys you were probably doing it.”
“Three guys, Alex. There are three guys!”
“Samantha just responded that you have three holes.”
“That’s disgusting! Are you with Samantha right now? I don’t want Samantha corrupting my poor innocent sister! Stop listening to her!”
There was a light whisper. “You know I’m a succubus, right?”
“I had to explain to you what cunnilingus was! Don’t act like just because you’re a demon you know things.” I gave a sigh. “Look, put Samantha on. I need to talk to her too.”
“You know … you called me sister …”
“Alex!” There was a light giggle and then some static on the phone.
“Bonjour!” A chipper voice came on the phone.
“I told you, Samantha; pretending you’re French on the phone doesn’t make you more popular with the guys.”
Samantha chuckled in response. “Speaking of which, why didn’t you tell me you had a half-sister that looks almost like your identical twin. She’s way hotter than you are, but still…”
Fortunately, male Alex looked nothing like female Alex, so it didn’t seem like Samantha suspected anything. Since mom knew female Alex, it was only a matter of time until Samantha found out, so I wasn’t that angry. However, at school, he still chose to appear as the same guy I met in that cage in what felt like years ago. Why he came to school as male Alex and why he chose this moment to change to female Alex is beyond me. It was Alex though, so my guess was that he just wanted to cause me more trouble.
“Yeah, thanks for that.”
“Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it.”
“Look, Samantha …” I gave a sigh, “I’m caught up in a few things. I’m gonna be busy for the next 48 hours. Like, the-world’s-going-to-end important stuff right now. I’m going to need to cancel hanging out after school.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
“Then share the dirty details about your foursome.”
“Oh, my God! I’m not having sex!”
“Hey, I didn’t say sex …”
“Sex is how you have a foursome.”
“Well, you’d know!”
“Damn it! I walked into that one … Fine; can you put Alex back on?”
“First, you got to give me something. Come on.”
“Fine, you want something? Here’s something.”
I lean back into the bridge containing Allan and Ryan and hold up my phone.
“Ah, be careful!”
“It’s okay now, I’m inside you. I’ll be sticking it in.”
“Do you think it’ll fit?”
“I hope so; I don’t want to force it in and risk tearing something.”
I return the phone to my ear. “We good now?”
“What was that?!” Samantha nearly screamed. “That sounded like Ryan and Allan. What are you doing? What are they doing? What kind of dark orgies have you concocted, missy!”
“Dark orgies? Look, just put Alex back on!”
“This isn’t over…”
“Just do it!”
The phone rustled for a second and Alex’s voice returned. “Oh, what’s Samantha talking about? What’s BL? She seems very excited about it.”
“Never mind that. I’m going to be gone for a while. I need you to be me around my mom so she doesn’t grow suspicious.”
“Jane…” Alex’s voice hesitated for a second. “What’s going on? Really?”
I gave a sigh. “You see… Andrew, Rune, and I were abducted by an alien. We’re on a spaceship orbiting the planet and we need to go to the moon to stop an alien invasion that could destroy the planet.”
There was another brief moment of silence. “If you didn’t want to tell me, Jane, you could come up with something a little better.”
“Bitch, I traveled through time!”
Alex laughed at the other end. “It’s fine. It’s fine. I’ll do what you said.”
“You… will be safe, won’t you?” Alex’s voice sounded worried.
“Of course. Just you watch.” I said farewell and finally hung up the call, feeling slightly exhausted.
Between that succubus sister and my best friend, I didn’t know which girl was worse. I finally made my way to the mess hall, although I really wanted to find a bed and fall asleep. More than that, I felt a little hot as well. No sooner had I walked into the mess hall than I stumbled to the side. Both Andrew and Rune rose, each one catching one of my arms.
“Are you alright, Jane?” Andrew asked anxiously.
I laughed it off and put on a smile. “Just a lot happening at once. I’m a little winded, that’s all.”
“You know, we don’t have to do this. We don’t have to go to the moon or anything.” Rune said.
“And what? We let the Earth get blown up? No, thank you.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Rune shot back and then growled as he stood up. “I just mean, you can go home and Andrew and I will handle it.”
“Earth is my home, too!” I protested. “I can’t just sit for the next 48 hours wondering if I’m going to wake up the next morning to a life of slavery.”
There was a thump, then a roar, and the ship seemed to spring to life. Andrew moved over to a nearby window and took a peek.
“We’re moving! He must have successfully jailbreaked the ship.” I agreed with Andrew as the three of us headed back into the bridge.
When we arrived, Ryan had already cleaned himself up and had returned to the cute Freshman he always was.
“So, if my science lessons taught me anything, then it should take a few days to reach the moon. That means we’ll have a tight window to-” I started to describe.
“And we’ve reached the moon,” Allan interrupted, the ship shuddering to a stop.
“Holy momentum! Science is bullshit!” I mutter.
“Of course, any ship worth its weight has inertial dampeners.”
“If there is no inertia, then why’d we feel the ship speed up and stop, but only at like 30 miles an hour,” I asked.
Allan looked up at me and the pair of us stared at each other in uncomfortable silence before he spoke. “I could explain it, but I’m afraid you’ll just get angry and cuss some more.”
“Ah, Damn it!” I cursed.
Allan sighed, straightening his glasses as he turned to the other boys. “Before we land, we should perhaps go over the plan again with Jane. Prince Skyf is hosting a banquet the night before they launch the attack. He’s invited all the royalty from the members of the intergalactic alliance to showcase the Riptari’s power.”
“So, what does that have to do with me?” I took the bait and returned to the important task at hand.
“Princess Nefriti of the furry planet Magratea will not be able to attend this banquet. She has never been seen outside her own courts. It would not be difficult to pass you off in her likeness.”
“Wait?” Rune interrupted with a shiver. “There is a planet of furries? I hate those kinds of people. They creep me out.”
“Furry refers to the state of the planet, not the people.” Allan glanced over at Rune.
“I’m not following.”
“Have you ever seen peach fuzz?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Imagine that, but an entire planet.”
“Now you’ve lost me.”
Allan readjusted his glasses again. “This isn’t relevant to the conversation. What is relevant is a planetary attack grid of satellites stationed around Earth.”
“A what?” I inquired.
“A large cluster of unmanned attack satellites spread across Earth’s orbit are in hiding. When the Prince gives the word, they will disintegrate all satellites around Earth, destroying your communication. Then, they will bombard large population centers to destroy morale and remove resistance.”
“Oh, my God. How can we stop that?”
Allan glanced over at Ryan before continuing. “It is possible we can acquire the Prince’s attack codes. With Ryan and those codes, we can reprogram the satellites for another purpose. For example, reallocate them as an orbital defense grid. With that much firepower protecting the Earth, an attack would be too costly. They would have no choice but to give up the invasion.”
“And I suppose you want me to seduce him with my womanly wiles and get him to invite me to his rooms?”
“No, it won’t be necessary to-”
“Then, as he ravishes my body, grab a nearby statue and knock him over the head with it.”
“Not exactly. The plan is to-”
“Although, I suppose I’ll have to seduce the bodyguards too. It shouldn’t be difficult. Plus, if they ever catch me, I’ll just hide in a box until they forget about me.”
“That seems incredibly unlikely to work.”
I snapped my fingers. “Why don’t I just knock each guard out, one at a time, working my way through the facility until I reach the Prince’s quarters? Then my body won’t need to be ravished?”
Allan glanced at Andrew and Rune in exasperation. The pair had their mouths opened but didn’t seem to have an answer for him. I don’t know what he wanted their opinion on. I’m the one he’s sending in there to be violated by alien tentacle monsters. Those might have been weird thoughts, but it felt really hot now that the ship was moving. Did Allan’s species need to keep the ship so hot?
“Jane, listen carefully.”
“I’m listening …” I worked to make my mind focus.
“No one is going to try to have sex with you …”
“You’ve lost me.”
“How? How have I lost you?”
“You’re sending me to the facility as a slutty, scantily clad princess to entertain the Prince.”
“I never said the princess appeared slutty or scantily clad.”
“This is like science fiction; of course, she’s scantily clad. She also comes from peach fuzz planet; do the math.”
“That’s … disturbing that you would draw a conclusion from that.”
“Sorry, I get it from Samantha. But if the plan isn’t for me to manipulate my way in there, then what are we doing?”
“Ridiculous,” Allan pushed his glasses back up on his nose. “You merely need to get on the station. Ryan will do the rest. I can download the appropriate schematics. He will break into the Prince’s quarters while you keep the Prince at the banquet. You will not be required to seduce, harass, or detain anyone, just distract them.”
I twisted my mouth, pouting. So, I didn’t get to do anything? For a second, I thought I would be a spy. I’d infiltrate the base and steal the secret launch codes. I came out all the way into space and I get no steamy alien romances and no covert ops. It seemed like a rip-off. I mean, I didn’t want to lose my chastity to a space alien, but if it had to happen, space nobility that thought I was a princess wouldn’t be the worst way to go.
I stared out the window once again, trying to cool myself off. I really didn’t know what was wrong with me. Samantha said I only acted this weird when I was sick. I looked down at the moon far closer than I had ever thought possible. It was truly breathtaking. However, we entered the darkness shortly after.
“We’re landing.” As Allan spoke, a small base tucked in a crater came into view. “You might want to go get ready.”
“What? You carry dresses on your ship?” I raised an eyebrow at Allan.
“Don’t be ridiculous, I have a fabricator. Use it.”
“You said that like I’d have any knowledge of what a fabricator is or how to use it.”
Allan let out a sigh. “Very well. I’ll show you. The ship is already in their tractor beam. It will basically land itself now. Ryan?”
Ryan nodded. “I’ve downloaded all the protocols. I know what to do and say.”
Allan led me into another cramped space in the back of the ship that must have constituted a bedroom. Well, at least, there was a small bed in the room. He moved up to some kind of console on the wall.
“Computer, manufacture a Magratea dress of high quality.”
“Magratea dresses are copyrighted by the Universal Dress Group. Please note that the unauthorized reproduction of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement is investigated by universal law enforcement agencies and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of 250,000 credits. You may purchase a copy of a Magratea dress for 3,000 credits.”
“Three thousand! That’s a rip off! Computer, just torrent the protocol and create a copy.”
“… Copying is stealing straight from the hands of precious seamstresses.”
“Computer, I don’t need a lecture! Copying isn’t stealing. I didn’t take anything, and they didn’t lose anything. I’m just making a damn copy. And the massive corporation that owns the copyright is far removed from the seamstress who probably got paid virtually nothing as the man racks it all in! Look, just make the dress,” he took a deep breath and instructed.
“You sure have it rough.” I gave him a wry smile.
“Copying isn’t stealing!”
“I’m not arguing.” I laughed, holding up my hands.
The fabricator made a buzzing noise and a moment later a folded-up piece of clothing appeared. Allan picked up the dress and pushed it at me.
“Here, put it on.”
I nodded, dropping the dress on the bed. Immediately, I pulled off my shirt.
“Woah! What are you doing?” Allan made a noise of protest and immediately covered up his eyes.
“Huh? Aren’t you like an alien or something? I heard that you always ignore all the girls and turn them down. Do you even find humans attractive?”
“Of course, I find humans attractive.” Allan turned his head away. “I’m not a complete dullard. I still react to seeing things like that.”
“Oh, well, turn around then.”
“Ah, you’re taking all your clothes off?” Allan said nervously as he looked away.
“That is generally how you change outfits, yes.”
“Um, then I’ll leave and give you some privacy!”
“Don’t be ridiculous, I need someone to help me zip up the dress.”
“Me? Ridiculous!” Allan seemed to be pouting a bit in a cute manner, but he didn’t leave.
I picked up the dress and stuck out my tongue. It really was not something I would wear. It was more of a robe than a dress. It was a light-green and seemed to have a shawl and a veil too. Well, I’d have to deal with it. It’d didn’t have a zipper, per se, but it did have several straps on the back.
“Alright; strap me up.”
“Ah… yes…” Allan said, his voice lacking the confidence with which he usually spoke.
I felt his hands on my back as he tightened each strap. I also heard him gulping and I suddenly felt the urge to tease him.
“Allan. About your eyes…”
“Ah! Yes!” He said shortly.
“Have you ever considered, with a woman, just… taking the glasses off, and then just going wild?”
“You mean… ahem…” Allan’s cleared his throat. “That…”
He finished up and I turned around. Allan was really close to me. He was a tall boy, about a head and a half taller than me, and he was looking down at me with a flustered expression. When did our faces get so close to each other?
“That…” I urged him to continue.
“It’s considered criminal to… influence a person… in that matter.” His lips were so close to mine I could feel his sweet peppermint breath against my nose.
“How about… the old-fashioned way?”
“I… never found the right girl …” His head started to lower.
“Hey, we’re landing now.” The door suddenly opened and Rune entered.
I moved away smoothly, playing with the straps on my dress uncomfortably. Allan was on the other side of the room in an instant, straightening his shirt.
“Uh. Thanks… for the dress.” I said uncomfortably.
“Yeah, that’s fine…” Allan nodded.
Rune looked between me and Allan until his eyes settled on Allan. “Oh, not you too.”
“Ridiculous. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Allan deflected.
“Let’s go,” I added, the pair of us brushing by Rune as he stared at us accusingly.
We ended up back on the bridge.
“Wow… Jane, you look beautiful.” Andrew spoke up.
I only blushed a little. I didn’t like the dress, so being complimented in it didn’t particularly flatter me too much.
“You ready for this, Jane?” Allan said.
I gave a confident smile that I didn’t really feel and forced myself to say the words. “Let’s do this!”