“Church of Big Titties!?”
“Well, that’s not the official name,” she admitted, standing back up as her breasts bounced unnaturally. “But I find it a more suiting name to quickly explain our values and desires. The bigger the tits, the closer a woman is to god!”
“Wh-what about men?”
“Did you not check them out?” she gestured to her rack, and my eyes did linger once again. “Hehe… men love these things. They’re more pious than any woman, offering them all of their praise and worship. It’s women, on the other hand, who sometimes have a problem.”
“Tsk… it’s just fat…” Terra muttered.
“Shut up!” the Priest next to the Archbishop suddenly screamed, drawing a dagger. “I could just manage to tolerate that foxkin and her barely-C sized hills, but that flat-chest golem is an abomination! It never should have been allowed in the church, and now you want to blaspheme in front of the Archbishop? I-“
“Enough, Carl!” The Archbishop tossed a book of scripture at the Priest’s head, hitting him and causing him to crash to the ground.
As he was screaming, Terra grabbed my arm and then hid behind me.
“Wait… so the reason he was so hateful was because of Terra?”
The Archbishop came out from behind her desk and then bowed. Her tits basically fell out the top. I could even see the nipples!
“I’m sorry!” she said. “As you can see, there is still a great deal of animosity between both sides.”
Terra pinched my arm while noticing me staring at those things as they rocked back and forth hanging down. “It’s just like a cow, not even attractive.”
“Terra!” She really was running her mouth at a bad time.
She seemed to realize it at this moment too and then blushed, looking away.
“It’s okay…” Mary stood back up, a wry smile on her face. “She can’t help it. She’s a flat chester. They know not what they say…”
“Ah…” I shook my head, feeling like I had a headache. “Let me get this straight. There are two sects of the church fighting because one side likes big breasts and the other likes flat chests?”
“Yes… it is a conflict that has brewed for over a thousand years. However, now that I became Archbishop, beating the last by a cup, I wish to try to fix the Church. There was a time when we were the strongest existence on the continent. However, we have become fractured, and now compared to the likes of the Demon King and the Imperial Cloud Palace, we are too weak.”
“How do I fall into any of this?” I asked.
“Isn’t it obvious?” she responded, tapping her finger on her lips. “At the tournament, we saw your team of women. Flat-chested, big-chested, medium chested… you have truly picked women of every size!”
“It’s your mentality we want.” She glanced at the priest who was rubbing his head and looking embarrassed. “We need a figure to lead by example. I believe you’re that man. I believe you have been chosen to bring balance to the tits.”
“I’m not sure I follow…”
“I want you to be a bridge between the flats and the mountains. I want you to bring together the titless and the well-endowed. I want MILFs and lolis to live together in peace! That is my dream!” She suddenly grabbed my hands, looking up at me with pleading eyes. “Please, Deekson, will you plow through our divide? You don’t have to be gentle. Just dive in face first!”
“Y-yes!” I got caught up in the moment and tried to bow, but the two of us were too close.
The result, my face plunged right into her breasts.
“Oh, my!” she gasped.
“Wh-where was I?” I murmured, suddenly waking up.
I was sitting in a chair, and the escort named Carl was using some pungent thing he was waving under my nose to wake me up. It worked, and also burned a little. I waved my hands trying to get it out of my way.
“You were in a place of dreams, my friend,” Carl said, patting my shoulder.
“What, are we getting along now?”
He blushed. “Ah… well… before, I had my doubts about your dedication. However, after seeing you plunge headfirst into those big things and motorboat the Archbishop, I know you’re truly my brother. To think, you’re so pious as to plunge so deep she couldn’t even get your head out. You risked death and asphyxiation to properly give them the attention they deserve! Ah… I’ve dreamed of being able to do as such, but every time I’ve tried-”
A book suddenly struck him in the back of the head. He coughed up blood, but then wiped his mouth, grinned, and gave me a thumbs up. I couldn’t even respond. Instead, I glanced up from the chair to see the Archbishop sitting back in her chair on the other side of the desk. Her expression gave nothing away as to her displeasure over the events.
“Are breasts really that amazing?” Shao asked doubtfully, looking down at her own chest.
At best, she’d be considered of average size. She was larger than Miki but smaller than Lydia. Celeste had the largest breasts, although it was often hard to recognize that when she was in her fairy form.
“Miss…” Carl’s expression suddenly turned serious. “Breasts provide necessary nourishment to babies. You don’t hate babies, do you?”
“N-no!” she said with a gasp.
“Then, there you go.” He nodded firmly, and then glanced at her chest. “Yours is acceptable. Many women have average breasts. Do not be ashamed of them.”
“I-I don’t know if I should thank you or hit you…” she responded, her mouth twitching.
“No thank you is necessary. Just please, respect your chest, and find a man who takes care of them every day.” He said, grabbing her hands and looking deeply into her eyes.
“I-I… I’m the demon lord who attacked the city!” she declared.
“Shao!” I cried out.
“I panicked!” she responded tearfully.
“No matter!” he snorted, “Since you have tits, then you take after the Mother. A woman with tits can’t be an evil woman…”
Shao looked pleadingly at me for an escape, but I couldn’t deal with the guy either. Fortunately, Mary took care of it with another book. It was a big one this time, and Carl didn’t get back up.
“Then… since that’s done. What say you?” Mary sighed.
“I’m still not completely certain what you want me to do.”
“I would like you to visit the other sect, and try to form a rapport with them. I hope you can become an inspiration for both sects. You can be a unifying factor. The Hero of Aberis, lover of women of all sizes! You don’t have to do anything immediately, but please try to contact the other sects and get in good with them, as you have with my own.”
“Aren’t most people like Carl? They hate um…” I distinctly made sure not to look at Terra or Miki at this moment.
“Some are still stuck in their own ways. However, if you’re seen in the Capital with more big breasted women, then they will come to accept you.”
“Oh, my… you really are naughty.” She blushed and held her cheeks. “I was actually thinking that big-breasted elf girl. However, if there is ever an event and you need a well-endowed woman on your arm, I might not say no.”
“Ah… okay…” I was making sure not to look at any of the girls behind me anymore. “There is one more thing I needed to address with you before I agree to anything. That is… why did you take Carmine?”
Her slightly flirtatious expression dropped and she turned a bit serious. “Ah… Carmine… It is best that I show you.”
She stood up and then walked past us, stepping over the unconscious Priest on the floor. The rest of us looked at each other. I shrugged, and then followed her, the girls close behind. We ended up going down a long spiral staircase. It finally came out on a balcony that overlooked the area behind the cathedral.
There was a massive backyard and various other buildings that seemed to make up the infrastructure of the sect. There were barracks, storage houses, a garden, a kitchen, and various other things lining a massive courtyard. Within that courtyard, Paladins and Priests appeared to be training. One such Paladin was Carmine herself.
“You’re training her?” I asked in confusion.
The Archbishop shook her head, her breasts bouncing with them. “Carmine is training here on her own. Since we didn’t know when you’d be here, we’ve been sending an invitation weekly. We received a note three days ago from her saying you weren’t in town. After she dropped it off, she stayed and hasn’t left. Part of the reason we brought you here so aggressively is that we didn’t want to continue to take care of you… her…”
Mary seemed to have a slight look of distaste when she looked at Carmine.
“What’s this about?” I asked, narrowing my eyes. “That reminds me, that Clockwork Dragon…”
Mary let out a sigh. “The Clockwork Dragon was supposedly a myth. No one actually thought it was real. I’m not saying that it wouldn’t be a good method of deterring the other sects and perhaps even forcing them to rejoin us, ruling by fear is an option I’d rather not take. In truth, we sent Carmine there so she’d stay out of trouble. It was supposed to be a fool’s errand.”
“Salicia said you brainwashed her!”
“Hmph… isn’t she that sister with the small chest? She actually accused my Church of attacking her village! Maybe the flat chesters would do something like that!” She blushed. “Ah… sorry, see, even I still hold some prejudice… but you see, Salicia is a woman who stirs up trouble. She even became a Bandit King. Capturing her was only a necessity.”
“What about Carmine? You made her a slave for failing with the Clockwork Dragon!”
Mary blinked. “Is that why she told you she was enslaved?”
“Ah… actually, she never said specifically why…”
“It’s because she was in a lot of debt! During her trip, she had accrued a lot of debt with creditors. No sooner had she returned than a 500-gold debt was put on her head. The Church is generous, but this kind of money… mind you, she already owed us 100 gold for her armor, weapons, food, and more. Other than her high defense, she’s a bit clumsy and useless, is all.” Mary shrugged. “If a young Priest hadn’t seen potential in her early-developing breasts, we never would have taken her in and cared for her all these years.”
“I see…” I frowned.
“In short, please take your slave back!”