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Chapter 558
Dear Diary,
It’s been three hours since I entered the seas of dicks. It’s dicks… everywhere, as far as the eye can see. I thought I had come to a Utopia… a school of learning where men can truly be men. Instead, it is only the dicks.
It smells of leather and baby oil, and I can’t take a single step without ending up in something inexcusable. The people here are aggressive and don’t take no for an answer. I’ve had to pull my knife out and play a Shao before I was allowed to move after a few scary situations.
Although the floor above was quite small, that didn’t appear to be true for this floor. It was wide and open, without hallways, but that only meant I could see everything. I just wish… I could unsee it. Loud club music thrums across the entire floor.
I didn’t see how this place would be a temptation for women. Rather, I would think it’d be a temptation for a certain kind of man. Perhaps the girls above were playing a trick on me. I thought about turning back many times and playing up there, as a means of bleaching my eyeballs of the things I’ve seen. However, I had to continue. I couldn’t allow my girls to have to deal with this. I had a mission to complete.
“Hey, wanna watch me jackoff?”
“Dick pic? Anyone want a dick pic?”
“Hey, kid… look at these!” A man in a trench coat flashed me.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!” I couldn’t take it anymore!
I pulled out a sword and attacked. Had I not been underground, I seriously would have used Meteor. It probably wouldn’t work this deep underground, but I wanted to do it just on principle. Maybe with a well-placed portal… No… I was just being crazy.
This… this wasn’t crazy at all!
“Ahhhh!”
“He’s got a sword!”
“Hehe… so do I!”
“There is blood everywhere!”
“That’s what she said!”
For the next two hours, I carved a path through naked flesh and blood, forming a path of destruction from which there was no return. Naked creatures fell all around me. Multi-penis tentacle monsters were burned to a crisp. The entire floor smelled like baby oil… and death!
It was to the point when I came to the safe room door, breathing hard and covered from head to toe in various fluids, it took a while for me to realize it. I had feared the door would be closed, since it led down to the boss room, and the King had already entered that room. Did that mean he was truly dead?
Perhaps I would have dwelled on those thoughts more, but I just couldn’t. I shoved my way into the room and then slammed the door. Then fell to the ground and curled up in the fetal position, weeping for some time.
{True Hero had increased to level 26}
{You have unlocked the skill: Condition Swap.}
Chapter 559
“So… how was your day?”
“Master… why did you race straight to the bathroom after returning to the mansion?” Miki asked.
“Reasons… any other questions?”
“Master… Why did you spend two hours crying while holding us?”
“Because I love you all so much.”
“Ahh…” The girls all blushed.
In the end, I was able to subdue my curious girls with flattery. But seriously, the 29th floor was truly the worst floor. Those monsters were pretty powerful too. I’m not even sure how many I was able to kill. Fortunately, they were lovers, not fighters, and they didn’t hold grudges after I cut them down. Still, I regret nothing. I wouldn’t feel any sympathy for that floor of creeps.
It was already pretty late at night, so we decided to spend the night in the mansion. I mostly spent it with my girls in bed. We weren’t doing anything improper; I just felt the need to snuggle with women after the sausage factory I had to walk through.
At some point, dinner came, and I got up and made a meal. We had a nice assortment of spices and foods now, thanks to our travels. Since we had stopped by the sea, I also made sure to buy plenty of seafood. Thus, I ended up making a seafood jambalaya. It was spicy, but it also tasted really good over rice. Just as I was eating with the girls, Faeyna walked in.
“M-master? Did you cook it? You didn’t have to do that! I’m here!”
“Ah, that’s right.”
I had forgotten that we relocated Faeyna to Chalm today. She still needed to go to the Capital, but she wanted to see the mansion first to decide on what supplies she should focus on before heading back. She had a good day to look over her new mansion and city now, and she looked refreshed and reinvigorated to begin managing the household. I had forgotten, so I made food since I was excited by some of the seaside spices and such.
“Well, no matter. I do pride myself on my cooking, though. What is this? Ah… it smells spicy. I’ve never seen anything like it before.”
“It’s shrimp, clams and a few other fishy things in a jambalaya. It’s a dish from my world.”
“Oh? How unique! Given my level in Cook, I’m sure I could even improve upon it! Let’s just take a bite, MMm!”
She froze, her eyes wide as she had the spoon in her mouth.
“How is it?” Miki asked, a flash of mischievousness in her eyes.
Seeing her look, I realized what was wrong. My Cook skill had exceeded Faeyna’s thanks to all my time in the dungeon, not to mention my knowledge of food from another world, where taste exceeded all. This was a world where most commoner foods were tasteless, and only nobles got things like spices. Although Faeyna had never had her first job as Cook, she had prided herself on her cooking ability, which satisfied nobles. However, compared to my world, where taste was taken down to a science, and my own cooking job, which I could equip to take advantage of various cooking bonuses, it would naturally be the case where my food was a bit better.
“H-h-how did you cook this?”
I winced at her upset glare. “Ah… I didn’t say. I have the Cook job…”
“I-impossible! After everything… Master is a professional cook!?”
“Well, I mean, you know I can change jobs at will.”
“Change it!”
“Hah?
“Make me a Cook!”
“I’m still a higher level than you, though…”
“This is… from the dungeon! You must take me into the dungeon!”
“Even if you say that I sort of need you to have Head Maid as a job…”
“Then… give me a second job! The other girls have second jobs!”
“Th-that’s true… but they only have 2nd job when they are close to me. Once I enter the dungeon, you’ll lose it. Your Cook job will only be around when I’m in Chalm.”
“E-even so… is there really no other way?” She looked up at me with very charming eyes, and I found myself unable to say no to the elf.
That’s how my dungeon party ended up growing to 7.
Chapter 560
“You sure about this? It’s very dangerous in the dungeon.”
“Unless I go, I can’t earn this DP, right?” Faeyna asked. “Then… Master will leave me behind, and I will no longer be the cook he needs!”
“I’m sure there is a Master Cook or something like that, so getting a second and third job would be necessary.”
“Plus, Master said there are cooking-based DP in the store, right?”
“I guess that’s true.”
In the end, I couldn’t talk her out of it. Faeyna would be a noncombatant. Instead, she promised to keep watch, manage supplies, and do all of the cooking. I told her I was happy to keep cooking for the group, but she became quite insistent. Well, it was probably fine if I let her complete this one dungeon. Once she has the second job from her DP, she’ll probably get off my back about it. Since we were already at the boss, it was probably fine.
We stepped through the portal into the safe room. The door was still closed, thankfully. That meant there was a boss waiting down below for us. If I understood things correctly, when it came to the final floor, there was no door to the boss room. Rather, the door appeared earlier before the safe room. This allowed the combatants to retreat during a lengthy battle while keeping new combatants from entering the battle.
Anyone who had logged in with the kiosk could naturally join in on the final boss battle, so it was an event unlike any other. It stood to reason that the nature of dungeons was for many individual groups to strive toward the bottom. Eventually, when enough groups reached the final boss, they would all join together in a raid and attempt to fight the dungeon boss, who was many times stronger than the other bosses.
Unfortunately, this world had a major shortage of Dungeon Divers. Too many people feared death, and thus only the bravest and stupidest went into the dungeons and risked their lives in such a manner. While you might find Great Dungeons with many groups in them, they never made it near the end. As for small dungeons like the Widow’s Dungeon, it was rare to get more than 2-3 groups interested.
From what I recalled, the group that attempted to take Widow’s Dungeon consisted of fifteen men, all higher levelled than myself. That included the King, an S class individual who should be close to Alysia in ability. Yet, they were all defeated, and now we were all that was left.
It should be known that I had never officially defeated a dungeon boss. Every boss had been defeated through a different means, and we hadn’t had to go all out thanks to various conditions. Calypso’s Tower is the only possible exception, but it didn’t count since I crushed the entire dungeon and dropped a Meteor on their head. I never even met the dungeon boss for that building.
So, I should have been terrified to enter and fight this boss. It was probably a bad way to look at things, but we had managed with every dungeon so far. I reckoned that we could manage with this one as well. We succeeded where others had failed. I couldn’t say if that was because we had some hidden power, or just because we were really lucky. Whatever it was, though, I was willing to bet our lives on it.
“Master…” Lydia’s voice spoke up. “Can you continue the story of Widow’s Dungeon?”
“Ah, a story!” Celeste added excitedly.
“Ah… that’s right…” I had almost forgotten about the murals.
If we wanted to beat this dungeon, our best bet still fell with the murals that told the story of how this curse came to exist.
“So… last time… oh… it seems I’ve forgotten.”
So many things had happened since we had last been in the dungeon, I no longer seemed to be able to remember the dungeon’s lore.