My name is Hakaru, and today is the day I died. It’s a tricky business, killing yourself. If you do it wrong, you have the embarrassment of living with the consequences. I’ve heard about people who tried to kill themselves with chemicals only to be paralyzed for the rest of their lives. That’s certainly something I didn’t want to happen to me. If I killed myself, I wanted it to be permanent.
I decided on the age-old tradition of hanging myself. It was good enough to be used for years as a form of execution. It doesn’t require anything particularly special other than a rope. Plus, there is such a thing called auto-erotic asphyxiation. If choking yourself while your choking yourself can create the ultimate sexual high, maybe I should try it once. Go out with a bang, as it were. I was scared of dying, but I wasn’t scared of sex, so if I framed it as an accidental death, perhaps I could feel a little more content in death, at least enough I wouldn’t turn into a wandering spirit.
If I’m going to die, I might as well die in style. Pulling my pants down, I pull out my favorite pornography. I put various pictures of naked girls all around me, I hang the rope up on a support beam that looks like it’s load bearing and will hold. I create a hangman’s knot and loop it over my neck. That’s when things started to get confusing. Do I jack it now? Or do I jack it while I’m hanging by the neck? Do I start first and kick the chair out from under me as I get to finishing?
“Well, it doesn’t matter, I suppose.”
In the modern world, being found dead in this compromising position would be incredibly embarrassing. Then again, that’s exactly why I’m doing it. I want to die in the most spectacularly embarrassing way possible. I want my sister, who is always cruel and hateful to me, to blush every time she thinks of my death. I want my mother, who drinks her life away on sake to cope with a no-good husband, to feel shame when she thinks that she raised a deviant like me. I want my father, who cheats on my mother every chance he gets, coming home at three in the morning smelling of cheap perfume and skank, to have to tell his coworkers, “yes, my son is the guy who died jacking off.”
However, the person I want to embarrass the most is my girlfriend. The skank who cheated on me with my best friend. I want to see the look on her face when she is told that her former boyfriend is a sexual deviant. Would it hurt her pride just a little bit? Would it make her feel even an ounce of shame? I don’t know, but by that point, I suppose I’ll be dead so it won’t matter. They say that as you die, your life flashes before you. Upon kicking the chair out from under me, I didn’t see my life. Instead, I just saw the flashes of a single day. This day. The day that led up to my death.
I may have a cruel sister, a drunk mother, and a careless father, but that didn’t mean I was unhappy with my life. In fact, this morning, killing myself would have been the last thing on my mind. Then again, before, I didn’t know what I know now. I got ready for school as I always did. As I left my room, my only refuge from my miserable home life, I saw a guy walking out of my sister’s neighboring room.
“Sup, squirt.” The guy punched my shoulder as he walked by. “Got any lunch money?”
I cringed at my poor luck that I would leave at the same time as him. I had heard him going at it with my sister all last night while my mom was passed out on the couch. Usually, he slept in late, since he was a high school dropout two years my senior. However, I had grown used to assuming the position, and immediately pulled out my wallet, taking all the money I had in there and handing it to my sister’s most recent boytoy.
“Shit, this is it? What, why your parents don’t give you more allowance?” He growled as he took the thousand yen I gave him.
“You’d know best, you’re fucking my sister.” I sighed.
The punch across my face was completely expected. I threw myself in the opposite direction, going with the punch. I had long since grown skilled at this. Stumbling down and landing to the ground, it looked like a brutal hit, but I took little damage. I probably wouldn’t even have a bruise today.
“Hey, watch it, little shit.” The guy snorted, “Be lucky I’m fucking your sister, or I’d break your fucking legs.”
The guy left, opening a hall window and jumping out. This was all it took to elude my father, who was likely asleep after coming home from a night of fornication. I got back up when my sister’s fuck buddy dived out. I didn’t really know his name. They were usually a Chad or a Buck or some American sounding name. Many Japanese had adopted American names and lifestyles after the US annexation, and it seemed like those that did liked to bully the traditionalists.
However, as mean as he was, he was right about me being lucky. Most of the other bullies in town left me alone because of my sister. She had a tendency to date the baddest asses in town. It afforded me a bit of protection. He may steal my lunch money, but most of the worst would steer clear of me.
I pulled the second 1000-yen bill out of my sock that I had stashed away, and put it into the wallet. My allowance was 5000 yen a week, and if I partitioned it off this way, I could usually last the whole week without getting beat up. If I was really lucky, I was able to save some so that I could buy something I wanted, such as a gift for my girlfriend. However, that was exceptionally rare.
I headed off to the kitchen. I prepared a cup of tea and some tamagoyaki for mother. I placed them right down on the coffee table in front of the couch. As soon as I moved to leave, I heard a light moan.
Mom peaked out from her sheets, her eyes looking bloodshot. “No rice?”
“If you want rice, make it yourself.” I snorted. “I have to get to school.”
“Tsk… what good are you then?” Mom covered her head back up. “Go off to school. Leave me like your father. You two are exactly alike.”
I tensed for a second. “I’m nothing like him.”
“…” There was only silence from her sheet.
With that, I left my home. When I got to the curb, I found my bike. It was bent to shit, the wheel broken and crossbar snapped. I picked up a note lying on the bike. It was barely readable in the drunken scrawl of my father. He was cursing me for leaving my bike in the driveway. It looked like he had run my bike over when he came home last night. As to the position of my bike, it was clearly on the side of the driveway. I could even see the wheel marks where dad had swerved off the driveway to strike my bike.
The letter itself was full of cussing and derision. I crinkled it up and shoved it into my pocket. Today, I wasn’t going to be so easily upset. You see, today was my anniversary. My girlfriend and I would have been together for one full year now. After my previous girlfriend had cheated on me, it took a lot for me to open up again. However, Akiko had been very patient with me. For a year we had dated and I decided today I was going to tell her I loved her.
Instead of biking to school, I ended up walking. I barely managed to make it into homeroom as the bell rang. I was sweaty and gasping, but rather than collapse, I nearly fell over when I saw a beautiful woman standing in the middle of the room. Across from her was my best friend, Derek. My girlfriend was also nearby, watching them. My girlfriend was a Japanese beauty, a cute button nose, a small face with high cheekbones, long black hair, a small framed-body, and a nice butt. However, she paled in comparison to this foreigner. That didn’t matter to me, I quickly shook off my daze I moved up with her poking her side.
“What’s going on?” I whispered.
“Sh-sh-she’s… as-asking…” Akiko didn’t continue, but she didn’t have to.
“I’ve always admired you, will you be my boyfriend!” The beautiful girl bowed her head to Derek.
She had long, perfect legs, a great ass, and pert lips. Her hair was long, blonde and soft. Her eyes were a shockingly deep blue. She must be one of the Americans who migrated over to Japan. I wasn’t like some traditionalists that despised the foreign invasion, nor was Derek.
“Y-ye…” His eyes flashed to me and Akiko.
Akiko seemed to be wringing her hands, a strangely anxious look on her face. I couldn’t help but smile. She was always so concerned about other people. In particular, she seemed obsessed with Derek’s love life. She was always getting involved when he dated someone, or trying to set him up with a friend. Akiko wasn’t that good at it though. The people she suggested he dated were often ugly or had bad personalities. It was a running joke that she had bad tastes as a matchmaker.
“I will!” Derek finally declared, causing the girl to smile in relief and Akiko to turn away.
I wanted to talk to Akiko more, but she seemed to be in a bad mood, so I moved up to Derek instead. He was taking the number of the knockout beauty. When she was done, she gave me a look and a smile. I didn’t recognize her at all, so I just returned a friendly nod.
“See you soon.” She murmured as she turned to walk away.
I couldn’t tell if she was talking to Derek or talking to me. As for me, I had my mouth slightly open, taken aback by her beauty once again before I shook it off and smacked Derek.
“Hey, bro, when did you attract such hotties?”
Derek blinked for a few seconds and then laughed. “What? Haha… I’ve always been desirable, what are you talking about?”
I laughed and teased him for another minute before the teacher finally settled down the class. Naturally, the beautiful girl who asked Derek out was the talk of the class throughout the day. The thing was, no one even knew his name nor what class she was in. After enough coaxing, even Derek admitted he hadn’t asked her name before she walked away. Instead, he pulled out the paper where she had written her information.
“N-T-R? I-is that her initials then?” I asked, looking over his shoulder.
“I-I guess so. Well, it doesn’t matter, we’re going on a date tomorrow. She asked to be my girlfriend, so we’re already going steady. Even if she doesn’t put out, my status will totally improve.”
“What does that mean? Put out? You just started dating her! Why don’t you give it some time? Like me and Akiko…” I glanced over when I noticed he was being silent.
“Hakuru, man… did you ever think maybe you gave it too much time? That maybe you should have moved sooner?”
“Move faster? No way, Akiko isn’t that kind of girl.” I laughed off his words. “What do you mean by that?”
“N-nothing… nothing… you’re going to take Akiko out on a date tonight?”
I frowned with a sigh, “No… she told me she can’t tonight. We’ll just have to do something this weekend.”
“O-oh… well… good luck with that.” He suddenly looked awkward. “Ah… actually, I need to go take a bathroom break, I’ll see you later.”
Lunch had just started, and I was left alone. Akiko had left earlier to talk to friends in another class, and now Derek had to leave too. It was then that I noticed his cellphone sitting on the desk. He always had that thing on him. If he left it here, he’d totally panic. Sighing again, I packed up my lunch and then grabbed his phone, heading to the bathroom. However, when I got there, I didn’t see any sign of Derek at all.
Frowning, I decided to head to the roof. The roof was Derek’s second favorite spot. The door was technically locked, but Derek had found the door easy to jimmy open with a card. When he wanted some privacy, he always headed there. If you’ve been following along so far, it should be no surprise to you what I saw when I opened that door.
My best friend Derek, and my girl Akiko, were on that roof. She was on her knees sucking his cock. He had his head back, his eyes closed, leaning against the back wall, letting out moans while she sucked him off like she was thirsty. I had always seen my Akiko as such a gentle, sweet, loving girlfriend. To see her lewdly sucking some guys dick like some hoe… it was assuredly a mental blow.
“Ah… c-cumming…” He moaned, grabbing the back of her head.
I could see her eyes widen as cum burst down her throat. I was watching my girlfriend swallow my bestfriend’s load! My girlfriend who hadn’t even touched my dick in a year was now swallowing some guy’s cum. By the look of it, it wasn’t her first time.
I wanted to say I ran up and started beating the shit out of him. I wanted to say I dumped her on the spot. I wanted to say I was a strong, alpha male who acted like a boss. I wanted to say these things, but I didn’t. What I did do was drop the phone, which hit the concrete with a clatter and then I ran. The door shut behind me, likely giving the pair of scare that ruined their little fun time, but they wouldn’t know who saw them, and I wasn’t going to reveal myself.
Akiko and Derek… Derek and Akiko. The only two people in my life I considered waking up for, and they were betraying me. I didn’t know how long their affair had been going on. He had even said yes to this new girl. So, he was a cheater too! Both of them were cheaters! My sister cheated on tons of guys, banging one after another. My father cheated on my mother. My friend cheated on his girlfriend. My girlfriend cheated on me. Why did everyone in my life cheat? Why was this world such an awful place for those who were honest and trusting? My anger, my frustration, and my hate built. It built and it built.
I kicked the chair out from under me, the rope snapping tight around my neck. Let them all be ashamed of me. That’s what I’d be known as. The kid who died from autoerotic asphyxiation. My only hope is that Akiko, my girlfriend, as she fake cries over me, shall earn the title of the woman who dated a guy who died jacking off. If I could have one wish, it’d be to expose her for what she truly was, a two-timing bitch. If I had two wishes, it’d be to cheat on everyone in the same way they cheated me. I wanted my vengeance. I wanted to make them all feel the same emptiness that I felt inside.
“Good… that’ll do nicely.”
As my eyes were closing, asphyxiation doing its work, those words shot through like a gong. Snap! The rope broke and I fell to the ground with a painful thud. I coughed and sputtered, pulling the rope from my neck as I gasped for breath. Those words… they sounded feminine. What was going on? I looked up, first seeing a pair of incredibly long legs. As my eyes traveled up, they landed on a beautiful girl in a school uniform, with pale white skin, beautiful blonde hair, and piercing blue eyes.
This beautiful blonde woman, Derek’s girlfriend, was looking down on me with a smirk on her face and a twinkle in her eyes.
“Who-wha…” I could only stutter as I rubbed my raw throat and coughed.
“Congratulations, Hakaru, you have been selected to join my game.”
“Who-who are you?” I could barely get the words.
“Me? Why… I’m the Goddess of Theft, Netori! Welcome, to NTR Crush!”