Hawtness - Hawtness - Volume 2 - Epilogue

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“You can’t stay here, Allan.
I’m already stuck with a gender-confused
love demon and a time-traveling cowardly
lion. I really don’t need a silver-wearing, super-intelligent alien living with
me as well.” I stated after opening the door to reveal the attractive boy
standing there in an outfit somewhere between normal and alien.  

“Ridiculous. It’s grey, not
silver, and this color just happens to look good on me. Besides, I am not
interested in living with you, even though you blew up my ship. I have found an
adequate place to stay in the meantime.”
 

“First off, Red Six wasn’t your
ship. It didn’t even come from the same franchise. Second, how the heck was I
supposed to land that thing when all I could see were sweaty biceps?”

Not that I was complaining, but
the skinship I was forced to endure with ten hot boys wasn’t as great a fantasy
as I would have liked it to be. Instead, it was hot, sweaty, and uncomfortable.
I’m sure that wouldn’t deter Samantha’s fantasies, but she’d never hear about it if I had my way.

We were lucky I even made it back
to Earth. We had to use Allan’s transporter as the ship exploded against the
atmosphere. How was I supposed to know that ships couldn’t just enter the
atmosphere?

“Ridiculous.” Allan responded
stiffly.

“Well, it’s good you got a
place to stay, I guess.” I sighed, ignoring the memories of the last few
days. “Do you want to come in? Mom’s out right now. We can chat in my
living room.”  

Allan nodded and joined me. As I
came to the realization I was standing in my house unsupervised with an
attractive boy, a strange atmosphere started to form. We stood awkwardly for a
few minutes in the living room, avoiding looking at each other. It had been
almost a week since we had returned from the ship. Andrew had pushed himself
off into seclusion, looking into what his uncle had told him. The rest of the
boys were the same as always.  

Stephan was still looking into
the disappearances. Daniel was testing out different deodorants. Well, it
wasn’t like I was going to explain to him that the problem was that he smelled too
good. Victor went back away on a tour. Alex recovered once Allan had his
glasses back on and pouted the rest of the week at being so easily seduced.
Samantha covered my butt again with my mom, just a little jealous that she didn’t
get to come along on this trip; not that she knew anything other than that I
went on some kind of surprise H club retreat.

Just two days prior, Mr. Xavier demanded
a date in exchange for the zero I got from a missed quiz to be changed to 100%.
How desperate did he think I was? I politely explained to him that school
policy excused absences and that I had
been called in on both days, thanks to Alex. He couldn’t give me a zero even if
he wanted to do so. He was not happy about it, but he did quiet down when I
mentioned telling the counselors I was being sexually harassed.  

“So … what have you been
doing these days?”  I asked Allan, my thoughts coming back to the
present.

“I’ve decided that since I
am stranded on Earth, I might as well complete my mission of data gathering. It
is a lot of the reason I came here.”  

“That was something I forgot
to ask before; what kind of information are you gathering on Earth?”
 

“Didn’t I tell you already? I
thought it was obvious. My current mission,” Allan readjusted his glasses,
“is to acquire a complete knowledge base on the mating habits of
intelligent life forms on this planet.”  

“Excuse me?”  

“Of course, even monkeys and
dolphins have some intelligence, so I have been collecting research humans already
performed on this planet on a large array of animals. Humans themselves, on the
other hand, have been tricky. Gaining consent, for example, would almost
certainly require me to reveal that I’m an alien. It is so much easier with
someone who already knows.”  

“I really don’t like where
this is going…” I started to back up a bit as Allan’s eyes grew in
intensity.   

“You see, you seem to be a
perfect research specimen to gain a better understanding of human breeding
practices. You are at the prime virile age of female adolescence and are
currently being courted by a large array of Alpha-type males.” 

“I am not,” I
sputtered. “What are you even talking about?”  

“I believe that if I keep
observing you, I will be able to collect a fairly comprehensive assortment of
data on male and female interactions. This is why I had contacted you before. Simply
from reading the books about you, I was convinced you’d make a perfect specimen
for mating research.”  

“You read those? Allan, it’s not like … I don’t … .you …” I
couldn’t come up with anything to say.  “Wait, are you suggesting you want
to mate with me?!”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Allan straightened
his back while I gave a relieved sigh. “Naturally, that would be one of the
later stages of the research. A stage 3 trial, perhaps.”

“So, you do want to mate with me!”

“Eventually; but right now I am
working on understanding certain research material I recently acquired. I was
hoping for your help in explaining them.”  

“So, you’re just going to ignore
the casual suggestion of sex?!” I cried, and then let out a sigh. “Never
mind; what is your question?”  

“Well, for example, I’ve recently
found this piece.” Allan pulled out what looked like a DVD case and handed
it to me.  

As soon as my brain registered
what I was looking at, I dropped it like a snake. “Wha … what are you
doing with that?”  

Allan calmly bent over and picked
it up. “I told you; performing research. This DVD, Naughty Vixens 3, seems to engage in women spending a great deal of
time spanking each other. This seems to arouse the man, who then, in turn,
spanks both women. Would you describe this as a typical mating ritual for
humans?”  

“I …” I shrugged, at a
loss for words. “Maybe if it’s Samantha…”

“And can you please explain
to me the idea of ‘BDSM’? I’ve seen the term before, but it always seems to
lead to the book, 50 Shades of Grey.
The book seems to possess more of this spanking as well as a certain degree of
chains and straps. I am also curious about the concept of dirty talk. It seems
to suggest that calling women derogatory terms will prepare them for sexual
intercourse. You whore.” 

“What?”

“Hmmm…” He watched my expression,
shaking his head and writing something down while speaking to himself. “Not
aroused by derogatory terms.”

“Allan.” I cringed. “Can’t
you ask the health teacher about this?”  

“I already did, but he shook
his head and walked away. Maybe I should ask Alex …”  

“No! No, don’t ask her!”
I didn’t even want to think about what she would tell him. 

Allan stopped talking and watched
me, waiting for an answer. I pinched my nose, squeezing my eyes shut. I was
entirely too young to give this talk.  

“Allan, you’re going to
freaking owe me after this one,” I
insisted. “I only know these things because Samantha has wasted entirely
too much time corrupting my mind.”  

Allan nodded calmly. “Very well; please
show me.”

“Alright then.” I sighed.
“Here, let me introduce you to the internet.”

This is the end of Volume 2 for Hawtness. The eBook is currently available for sale in my store, Amazon, and Smashwords.

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