Hawtness - Hawtness – Volume 4 – Chapter 6

“Something is happening on the beach,” Ryan suggested as the
tremor from the explosion outside ended.

The two of us turned to leave as Allan muttered something under
his breath. No sooner had I made it out the door when a scene unfolding in
front of me caused me to stop. My mouth fell open and my eyes grew incredulous
at the strange sight. Andrew and Rune were standing there facing each other,
and around them were various craters and marks as if they had been fighting.

Andrew was waving Gemini around. It glimmered in and out of
existence unsteadily as he stumbled towards Rune.

“You bastard angel!” He muttered in a slurred voice. “Don’t
think I don’t know what dirty thoughts have been on your mind.”

Andrew glared back with a stony expression, but when he
spoke he sounded just as out of it. “You’re the demon, if anyone has
dishonorable intentions toward her, it’s you!”

He raised his sword to attack Rune. Rune tossed a purple
fireball, which went wide and struck the water. There was another tremor and
the sound of water sizzling as the water erupted in a fantastic and marvelous
display. Cheers and clapping erupted, causing me to look around at the rest of
the scene. The beach was far from abandoned, and Andrew and Rune’s supernatural
actions had earned an audience.

There was a small group of people watching them like they
were watching entertainers put on a show. As the fire dissipated, they started
clapping and cheering. What the hell was going on? I ran forward to try to
interrupt their fighting when my foot caught on something and I went face first
into the sand. I turned to my side, and there was the severed head of Stephan.

“Gah!” I was never going to get used to seeing things like that!
“S-sorry, Stephan?”

Stephan’s eyes snapped open, “Oh, Jane? Where have you
been?”

“Where have I been? I’ve been locked in the damned freezer.
Where have you guys been?”

Stephan blushed; it looked very odd on his pail bodyless head.
“The guys suddenly all started going bonkers. I’ve been trying to keep them
together, but then Rune and Andrew started fighting and before I knew it, I was
torn limb from limb.”

“Why would they-,” and then I remembered Allan saying he
knew what happened, “Allan, what did you do?”

“Jane, I would like to point out that this was not my
fault-” Allan began.

I gave him my strongest glare and spoke slowly, “What did
you do?”

Allan seemed to shrink back visibly, “They seem to have
drunk some of my experiments.”

“What do you mean experiments?”

Allan readjusted his glasses before responding, “We were
going to a Florida beach, particularly associated with human relationships.
Naturally, I did some research on that internet you showed me. This led me to
more information on Spring Break. In particular, I discovered that alcohol had
a strong association with human relationships, so I desired to research it
further.”

“You gave everyone alcohol?”  

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Allan sniffed. “These kinds of
matters need to be done under strict controls or there would be no point!
However, I also recognized that most of my test subjects would not be affected
by alcohol in the way that I needed them to be. Therefore, I developed a drug
that was like alcohol.

“I made three bottles of the stuff. It’s just a clear liquid.
I left it in my backpack. Someone must have grabbed them and thought they were
water. If consumed, it has the same effect as alcohol, although three times as
effective and has no taste or smell. I wanted to measure how much of drunk
behavior is influenced by the actual drug versus the knowledge that you are
drinking. So, if I had to guess, they’re all drunk.”

“So, you planned to get them drunk, just not now!” I glared
at Allan.

This time, he had the decency to blush. “I-it wouldn’t have
been as bad! Just one at a time, and they’d be closely monitored! I wanted to
see how they’d treat you upon being intoxicated.”

“What do I have to do with them being drunk?” I demanded,
still feeling a bit angry.

“…” Allan looked away, not answering.

I frowned as I glanced back at the two boys fighting on the
beach, “They really are drunk?”

“It’d make sense.” Stephan spoke up, “Samantha came out with
a couple of bottles of water near the end of the shift. Sorry, we didn’t
realize you were trapped. We all kind of thought you ran off to see Victor’s
concert. I don’t really have a metabolism, being dead and all, so I don’t
really get drunk.”

I let out a sigh, “Allan, could you please put him back
together. Ryan, can you help me break up those two numbskulls before they hurt
someone?

The two boys nodded and Allan began collecting Stephan’s
parts as Stephan apologized profusely. Ryan and I moved forward. Andrew had
just landed a strike which Rune had deflected with a wave of fire. The two
separated, Andrew bounding back with angelic grace despite his current
condition. Before Andrew could surge forward again, Ryan jumped in front of
him. I moved in front of Rune, it took him a second to register me, but when he
did the flames went out.

“Rune!” I gave him my sternest warning, “What do you think
you’re doing?”

Rune gave me a sheepish look, “He started it!”

“I didn’t start it, you started it!” Andrew retorted in a
slurred speech.

The two boys surged forward, and only Ryan and I managed to
keep them from fighting each other again. I grabbed onto Rune’s arm, and began
pulling him back to the hut. He allowed me, seeming to lose interest in Andrew.

“Sorry, the show’s over!” I yelled.

There was a groan as the group of spectators began to break
apart. They really did think it was all a show. I supposed most of them were
probably drunk as well. I kind of wanted to put down a hat and collect money.
It was spring break after all. A few extra bucks could go a long way.

Ryan and I wrestled the pair into Uncle Max’s hut. The two
really were acting like children. All they needed was a firm hand to keep them
in order. I tossed them their respective sleeping bags and demanded they go to
sleep. They only gave me a few indignant looks which I managed to silence when
I gave them the look. I didn’t really know what the look looked like on my own
face, but I imagine it looked something like the look my mom had on her face
the night she caught Samantha and me looking at a certain magazine when I was
thirteen.

Stephan was finally starting to look like himself again, and
began working on sewing his legs back on now that his arms were working again.
The stitches weren’t a necessity, but it was easier for his body to heal if he
stitched the skin together. The stitches were usually removed by the next day.
I was becoming entirely too familiar with stitching Stephan back together.

“So, I’ll keep watch on these two, you might want to go
check on everyone else. The last I saw Daniel, Alex, and Samantha, they were
going up to your bedroom.” Stephan explained.

I could feel the blood draining from my face. What in the
world were they doing in there? I was on my feet and racing up the stairway in
a second. When I shoved the door open, I gasped at the sight in front of me.

The three of them were sitting around a small table with
cards on it. Alex was wearing nothing but a bra and panties. Samantha had no
pants on but otherwise wore a shirt that covered most of her. Daniel was
wearing a pair of socks and underwear.

“Oh, hey Jane!” Samantha chirped, “Want to join us for a
round of strip poker?”

I sighed, putting my palm on my face. The sad thing was that
I could see them playing this even if they weren’t all drunk. At least I could
stop this before things got bad.

“It’s getting late,” I put on my most authoritative voice.

“Aw, but it’s just getting good!” Samantha protested.

“Yeah, I’m sure. It looks like Daniel has been losing a
lot.”

Alex hiccupped. “Actually, he hasn’t lost a single hand yet.
That’s just what he was wearing when we started this match.”

I fought the urge to sigh again. All three of them looked
like they were barely conscious. Three times the potency of alcohol? I clapped
my hands. The three drunk teenagers flinched a little. I ordered Daniel to
report downstairs, and he didn’t give me any problem.

Instead, he gave me a smile and said, “Yes, Ma’am.”

Alex was next; I snatched her and wrestled her into her bed.
As I tucked her in, she reached up and put her arms around me.

“I love you, Jane,” She murmured.

I smiled, giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead. “I love
you too, sister.”

I let go of her and then started pushing Samantha to bed.
She protested considerably more than Alex had. When I finally got her under the
covers she grabbed me as well.

“I love you, Channing Tatum,” Samantha murmured.

I sighed and kissed her on the forehead too, “I love you
too, you stupid idiot.”

Samantha closed her eyes and turned her head, already
muttering in her sleep. I sighed, turning and heading down the stairs. When I
reached the dining room, I found Stephan making sure Daniel was in his sleeping
bag. Rune and Andrew were already breathing rhythmically from sleep. Ryan just
stood to the side with a blank expression on his face and Allan was recording
something in what look like a journal while shaking his head.

“Well, I think that settles everyone,” I brushed my hands.

The door burst open and Mr. Xavier fell into the room. Oh
right, him. He stumbled several steps and I raced forward barely stopping him
from falling face first on top of the sleeping Andrew and Rune.

“Hey, girl,” Mr. Xavier stammered.

“Mr. Xavier? You drank some of the water too huh?” Stephan
sighed.

“Actually, his breath smells like rum,” I grimaced, “I think
this one did it to himself.”

“Hey! I’m an adult damn it… and I can drink all I want to
when I want to.”

“Alright, Mr. Xavier.”

“Hey! Hey, Jane! Did you know that when you give girls beads
they just show you their breasts? It’s true. I saw it happen, Jane. I saw… like
5 breasts today, Jane.”

“Okay, Mr. Xavier,” I grimaced, trying to drag him to the
sleeping bag.

“Jane, I saved a bead necklace, just for-“

“No!” I snapped.

Mr. Xavier put on a look of surprise, then his face turned
sullen, “It’s just, I miss her so much. I miss being alive. My adult life was
stolen from me. All I wanted was to grow up, find a good woman to love and be
loved in return. Is that so much to ask?”

Mr. Xavier broke into tears, grabbing my shirt and sobbing
loudly into my sleeve. Well, it looked like Mr. Xavier was the crying kind of
drunk. I steadily worked him down into his sleeping bag and he curled up in a
ball of self-misery, I pulled away and shook myself off. This was not how I
wanted to spend my vacation.