Every Fan Fiction Ever Written - Every Woman Ever Written (By a Man)

Tiffany McStuffins walked into the room, her breasts entering first. They were large, voluptuous melons that were barely contained by her dress. They popped out aggressive, trying to tear forth from her clothing, showing an impressive amount of cleavage. Her waist was slim and shapely, her butt round and firm. She had soft, pale thighs, and long, smooth legs. Her face was otherworldly beautiful, with dark moon-like eyes, supple red lips, and a beautiful visage. Her long curly blond hair flowed down her back, with some curls falling over her shoulders and framing her breasts.

The moment I saw her walk into the club, I was immediately in love. I wasn’t the only man. Her sexy body caught the eyes of every man there. They all watched as she voluptuously made her way to the bar. As she walked, her butt swayed back and forth in an almost hypnotic fashion. She had the eye of every man there, but she seemed oblivious to it.

“She’s the most beautiful thing alive.” Steve whispered.

I nodded dumbly. Steve was my friend. He had hair, I think.

“Hello, I’d like a drink.” She asked the bartender breathily, her lips quirking seductively. “I’ll drink a virgin daiquiri.”

He smirked back at her. “That’ll be $5, miss.”

She reached down, her hands tracing the curves of her body, but a second later, her face turned to helpless shock. “Oh, my… I forgot my purse.”

“I’ll cover it.” I offered, putting down $5.

Tiffany turned to me, her breasts swaying in the wind. “Really? You will?”

“I will, I’ll always pay for a virgin.” I winked.

Her cheeks turned a cute shade of pink. “Ah! H-how did you know I was a virgin?”

“I was talking about your daiquiri.” I grinned.

Her eyes widened, showing a cute, innocent side to her. Then, she puffed out her cheeks.

“Ooo… I’m not… I mean, I am… but it’s not like I don’t want to. It’s just never been the right time!” Her eyes became teary with embarrassment, and she was so adorable I just wanted to tease her more.

“Hey, I’m Steve. I’m his friend.” Steve put out his hand.

She looked at him, and her expression turned to complete disgust. “Yeah… okay.”

“Back off, Steve. I’m the MC, so she won’t have an interest in any other guy.”

“Ahh, rats. Well, I’m sure to attempt to do something despicable to her later so you can look even more manly.”

“Fuck off, Steve!”

Steve grumbled and walked away with his drink in hand, leaving just Tiffany and me to speak by ourselves. The bartender brought out her drink with a straw and tiny umbrella in it. She sipped from the straw, her perfect red lips caressing the straw sensually as she slowly suckled it.

“Mmm… this tastes so wonderful.” She purred orgasmically.

“I prefer a Juicy Pussy.”

“Ahh! Y-you…” Her face flashed in horror and embarrassment.

“One Juicy Pussy… coming up.” The bartender slid me a shot of peach schnapps, pineapple juice, and Irish cream.

“O-oh…”

“I bet yours tastes like strawberries.”

“How can you say that?”

“I was still talking about the daiquiri.” I smirked.

Her face turned red as she looked down at her strawberry daquiri and blushed. “Oh, right… it does.”

“I want to bend you over the counter and have you right here.”

She gave me a side glance. “Wh-what drink is that?”

“It’s not.”

She cocked her head in confusion, not understand what I meant. That was fine though, it wasn’t like women understood humor. After that, we continued to chat flirtatiously. I was doing alright, keeping her interest and acting smooth. I just finished telling a joke at her level, and she burst out laughing. Her boobs jiggled happily as she laughed. She started to look a bit tipsy, her eyes a bit disordered and her speech slightly slurred.

“I’m not strong with drinks.” She admitted, her cheeks flushed.

I’d say, since her drinks had 0% alcohol. I bought her another drink, and she started giving me several signs she was interested. She had pushed up her breasts, exposing even more of her cleavage. She crossed her legs, one foot barely touching my leg with the tip of her toe. When she spoke, her hand came out and touched my arm. Her nipples were hard nubs, poking out of her dress and pointing at me as if she was declaring with her body that I was the one. She also wrote her number on a napkin and gave it to me. It was signed, “PLS FCK ME.” She must be drunk, because that wasn’t her name at all.

“You’re really amazing. I’ve never met a man as incredible as you.” She bit her plump lip, her legs rubbing together eagerly.

“You as well. You listen so well. And now I know so much about you, such as you’re very beautiful and your breast size is E.”

“Those are my most defining characteristics.” She pinkly blushed pinkingly.

“Oh… um… I need to go to the restroom. I’ll be right back.” I spoke regretfully.

“Sure. I’ll wait here for you.” She smiled, her finger stroking the rim of her cup suggestively, her body leaning towards me in a way that she had her lovely chest on full display.

I left my place at the bar and ran to the bathroom, immediately going for the dispenser on the wall. It sold the three things every man needed when getting a woman. It sold cologne, condoms, and breath mints. I was aiming for the condoms because I had a feeling I was going to score tonight.

“Hey, who was that hot girl by the bar?” I heard a guy’s voice come from one of the bathroom stalls.

“The one with the tits? Her name is Tiffany. You shouldn’t bother. She’s not interested in anyone.”

“She seemed pretty interested in that one guy tonight.”

“Yeah, but usually she has no interest in guys. She dresses up her hair and makeup and wears a revealing dress for her own personal reasons because she’s a strong woman who does that sort of thing.”

“Ah… I see. Well, that guy is super lucky if he manages to get that catch.”

“Seriously… some guy better get her soon, or I’ll just take her for myself. Once she gets that D, she’ll be his for life. Women are basically objects like that.”

“Yeah, and water is wet. Why are we stating the obvious?”

“Damn it, Carl, if you keep acting like a dick, I’m going to stop having discussions with you about women when I’m on the shitter.”

I decided to stop listening to them. What they had said seriously had excited me though. Maybe Tiffany was into me, and I could make her my woman. I finished buying a couple condoms and also a breath mint, and then headed back out.

As I walked into the main room, I could see her still by the bar, but my friend Steve had returned as well. She looked very uncomfortable as he moved suggestively close to her.

“Come on, baby. You know you want it. Just touch it.”

“St-stop… I’m completely incapable of thwarting your advances on my own.”

“That’s what I’m counting on. You’re really a dirty girl who wants this, aren’t you?”

“I can’t say no… all I can do is look helpless and teary-eyed. Please, someone, save me.”

I immediately charged up to him, pulled him away, and slugged him in the face. Steve dropped with a single punch.

“Ah! Y-you came!” Her scared expression turned to relief and delight, her boobs relaxing in relief.

“Not yet, but I’m glad you’re safe.”

“What the hell, you broke my nose! I didn’t even touch her.”

“Fuck off, Steve!”

Steve walked away while holding his nose and grumbling. Once he was gone, I turned to Tiffany, reached out and grabbed her forcefully without her permission.

“I’ve never felt this way about a person before.” I declared.

“No… stop…” She whimpered, but this time she wasn’t distressed, but totally into it.

“I won’t stop until you answer my question.”

“What question?”

“Tiffany, will you let me take you to pound town?”

“Oh! Th-that…” She looked away helplessly, her breasts sinking in depression. “I’m sorry… but I’m in a relationship with someone else.”

“Who?”

“A millionaire cowboy astronaut.”

“Leave him!”

“Okay…” Her eyes grew wet again. “I’ll immediately abandon that healthy and long-lasting relationship, because I love you, and only you.”

“Ooooh… looove… yeah… ahhh… hmmm… mmmm… as… well….”

Her breasts perked up. “R-really? You do?”

“Sure…” I nodded while looking the other way, and then I snapped my fingers. “Ah… shoot, I forgot I’m in a relationship as well.”

“No!” Her breasts flopped back down sadly.

“I’m sorry, but I won’t leave her.”

She looked down miserably for a moment but then nodded to herself, her breasts firming. “It doesn’t matter. I love you so much, that I want to be with you anyway!”

“R-really?” My eyes widened.

“Yes… I’ll be your mistress instead. We can talk to your girlfriend…”

“Wife.”

“Ah…wife… we’ll get her to accept me as well. Together.”

“I’m so happy to hear that. We can finally have sex!”

“Mm!” She nodded, her breasts starting to jump excitedly, trying to leave her dress. “Oh! Down girls.”

“They’re really something,” I commented on her boobs.

“Mmm, they’re just hungry.” She pulls a hotdog from the counter and drops it into her cleavage. “Good girls.”

They eat the hotdog up aggressively, gobbling that wiener whole. I swallowed with a loud gulp.

“Before we go, though, there are some things I have to let you know about me.” She admitted. “These are my darkest secrets, but I can’t give myself to a man unless I let him know.”

I let out a breath, preparing myself. “Alright, what is it?”

“First off, I was raised a gymnast.” Her cheeks blushed blushingly.

“A gymnast?”

“Yes… I’ve very flexible. I can even put my legs behind my head and fold in two.” To show this, she lifted her back leg until with was up over her shoulder.

“I-I can live with that.”

“When I was young, I once got something stuck in my throat and had to have surgery. As a result, I have absolutely no gag reflex. Is that too weird?”

“Oh… I’ll try to manage.”

“I have sensitive nipples. Just a little play and I’ll cum.”

“Mm-hmmm…”

“My vagina over-makes lubricant. I get super wet and gushy. I squirt when I cum.”

“Right.”

“I’m bisexual and always wanted to try it with two girls.”

“Neat.”

“You can stick it in my ass.”

“If you insist.”

“Basically, I want you to use my body as your own personal toy for as long as you want.”

“Sounds reasonable.”

“Oh… and I want it raw, cause it feels better. Don’t worry, I’m on the pill.”

I pulled the condoms out of my pocket and tossed them over my shoulder. “Done.”

“Also… I’m really tight, but you don’t need to hold back. Just force it-”

“Bitch, you had me sold at fold-in-two! Let’s go already!”

“O-okay!”

I turned her around and pushed her out of the club, eager to take her home. Her breasts led the way, bobbing excitedly while her butt bounced with each step. There was a light rain as we got outside, so I went to the car to bring it around while she waited in front of the bar. As I pulled up, there was another woman who passed Tiffany while entering the bar.

“Hey, how are the drinks in this bar?” The strange woman asked her.

“They’re pretty good.” Tiffany smiled back. “Oh, I know you, you’re Gina, right?”

“That’s right! Oh, we go to the same bikini waxer!” Gina laughed.

“Oh, of course. What a small world.”

“It is! Well, I see you’re leaving. Have a good night.” Gina waved.

“You too.” Tiffany gave her one last smile before entering my car.

We just passed the Bechdel test bitches! I drove off into the night with Tiffany by my side. She was the most interesting and wonderful woman I ever boobs.