Hawtness - Hawtness - Volume 2 - Chapter 4

I
woke up to bright white lights shining in my eyes. There was cold hard steel
pressed against my back. Indistinct shapes hovered over me. They were speaking
some kind of strange language. No! One of them was touching me. I punched out
my fist and decked them in the chin.

“No!
Don’t probe me!” I yelled.

“Ridiculous.”
one voice broke through the haze, my eyes finally clearing to see Andrew and Allan
looking down at me. “Probing has been illegal ever since the anti-probing law
of ‘72.”

“Damn
it, Jane.” Rune stood up, rubbing his chin. “Why am I the one you always have
to hit?”

“Huh?
What’s going on?” I asked.

“That’s
what I would like to know!” Andrew demanded, rubbing his head as he took in a
deep breath.  “What did you do, Allan?”

“And
why do I feel…” I wobbled as I tried to get up off of the table-like apparatus
I was lying on that was tilted in a near standing position. “So… out of it…”

As I
finally got the chance to glance around the room, I could see that we were now
standing in a white chamber. It was cylindrical in appearance with white walls
on every side. The floor had six white spots with a smooth glass-like
appearance and a vertical table along each side. It basically looked like the
inside of an alien spaceship. I wondered if Allan did that on purpose to mess
with me.  

“It’s
transporter sickness. For normal humans, it’s not abnormal to be woozy.
Actually, you’ve recovered far faster than you should have. It usually takes up
to fifteen minutes to regain your balance.” Allan glanced at me and then turned
to Andrew. “I teleported us onto my spacecraft, positioned in a
geosynchronous orbit traveling at seven thousand miles per hour.”  

“Why?”
Rune asked, breathing hard.  

“Attempting
to explain my actions to you was a waste of time. It was quicker to show you.” 

“A
little warning would be nice next time,” Rune snapped.  

Allan straightened his glasses. “A little consideration on your side would be appreciated as well.”  

I was
crouched against a wall, my head resting in my hands. Why did these things keep
happening to me? Was my destiny completely out of my control? Was I fated to be
dragged from random place to random place in the name of what, the future? I
took a deep breath, suppressing all of my anger and self-absorbed whining.
Getting depressed wouldn’t get me out of this situation.  

“What
do you want, Allan?” I asked directly.  

The
three boys turned to me. Andrew and Rune seemed to have looks of surprise.
What? Did they assume Allan had kidnapped us for the joy of it? Boys could be
so stupid sometimes. Allan wanted something, I was certain of that.  

Allan
nodded, the hint of a smirk at the corner of his face. “I prefer
directness too. That will make this considerably easier. Your planet is in
grave danger. My race, the Prefects, don’t typically take positions when it
comes to this kind of thing. We are silent observers, fulfilling our missions
for the good of the collective knowledge of our species. However, I’ve decided
to at least inform relevant parties as to the threat.” 

“Relevant
parties?” Rune frowned. “What’s relevant to us?”  

“An
archangel, an archdemon, and Jane Averygail, a girl whom I’ve recently
confirmed was involved in the incident
sixty some years ago, concerning a time-traveling
alien. If you haven’t realized it, your unexpected participation in the great
treaty that occurred on that date helped lead to the capture of that particular
time-traveling alien. A necromancer
detected time particles on you and, as a result, was able to track down the
offender. He was a notorious evil criminal who was brought to justice by your
actions. Your name and your accomplishments are well known across the three
known galaxies.” 

“Fantastic,”
I muttered sarcastically, although Andrew and Rune seemed to be glancing at me
with impressed looks.  

I had
a lot of strange experiences since I had met these two. After Daltom had taken
me back in time, I had run into Rune, Alex, and Andrew. Andrew thought I died
when I had used some kind of weird magic to fight a werewolf, leading to some
trauma in his youth. I had run into Christopher/Mr. Xavier and he had developed
a crush on me, only to confuse me with my real great-grandmother, which
ultimately lead to him being murdered by my great-great-grandfather. I had run
into Victor, gotten some vampire venom (which was the only reason I didn’t
die), and seeded his half-century long unrequited crush. I also had run into
Daniel’s mother and may have accidently seeded his werewolf imprinting on me.

Crap… did I do anything good in the past?

I had
told them some of what had happened in the past. I had decided not to mention
my near death, Daniel’s mom, Victor, or Mr. Xavier’s ghost Christopher to them.
I imagined Andrew figured out some of those things, but Rune and Alex seemed to
forget ever meeting me. Either way, I didn’t want to associate what happened in
the past with what happened now. It hurt my head just thinking about it.  

“So,
you know what we are?” Andrew asked, walking around the small chamber.
 

“It
is my job to observe, and I have analyzed your group activities for some time.
Regrettably, my previous attempts to gain access to your confidence proved
unsuccessful.” 

Andrew
went to ask another question, but I interrupted first. “What threat to Earth?”
 

“There
is currently a full-scale invasion being planned. In the next forty-eight
hours, your planet will be invaded, conquered, and enslaved.”  

“What?”
Rune shouted.  

“I
don’t believe it …” Andrew shook his head.  

I
watched Allan cautiously, trying to figure out the hot yet strange alien boy
who stared unemotionally at the three of us.  

“Do
you not care?” I finally asked.  

Allan’s
eyebrow raised. “I’ve only been stationed on this planet for the last
year. I will simply be stationed somewhere else. You have my sympathies, but
that is all I can offer. It is my species’ policy to not get involved. I
probably should not have even informed you of it. Now that the relevant people
know of this, I will send you back to your planet.” 

“What?”
Rune shouted even louder than the last time, approaching Allan as if he was
about to punch him.

Allan
held a finger over his wristband threateningly. It kept Rune at bay.  

“Why
would they do this? You can’t just tell us that and then leave. We need to do
something to save Earth. Have some compassion,” Andrew urged Allan. “At
least take us to the aliens. Maybe we can talk them out of it.”  

“I
highly doubt that. These aliens, the Riptari,
gain too much from this invasion. They hope to join the intergalactic alliance
by conquering Earth.” 

“Why
Earth?” I asked before I could stop myself.  

“It
is a resource-rich planet that is labeled
as ‘mostly harmless’. They planned this for some time.” 

“And
you didn’t tell us sooner?”  

“Because
I didn’t know sooner. I only found out about it last night, which is when I
tried to inform Ms. Averygail. I would not have waited this long to leave the
planet myself had I known this would happen.” 

I
blushed at his comments, even though Allan himself showed no displeasure while mentioning
the trouble I had given him.

“Please,”
Andrew put his hand on Allan’s shoulder; “please help us. Earth may not be
my planet, but I care about it and for many of the people on it.”  

A
blush flared on my cheeks, which I shoved down with a passion. He said people,
not a person. When did I get such a big
head as to assume it was about me? For all I know, he was in love with
Samantha.  

“I
can’t.”  

Rune
growled, a purple flame forming in his hand. “Then I’ll have to make you.”
 

“No,
I mean, I literally can’t. Their base of operations is on the dark side of the
moon. This ship is stuck in orbit. I can’t get it to go anywhere.” 

“This
is your ship, isn’t it?”  

“Of
course, it is my ship. However, it is powered by complex, subroutine algorithms
that protect the main controls of the ship from outside influence. In an
unfortunate twist, those algorithms became corrupted.”  

I
thought about it for a second. “So, what you’re saying is, you forgot the
password?”  

Allan
grimaced. “After only three tries, it does a system-wide lock. I’d need to
contact the dealer to get a master encryption to unlock it, but with the invasion, they are jamming my signal.”
 

“I
thought you were smart! How did you forget your password?!” Rune growled.

“Hey!
They demand a capital letter, a special character, and a number! You try to
remember a 20-character combination that can’t order the letters in any organized
word!” Allan shot back. “And then they request that you change it every two
weeks! Ridiculous.”  

Rune’s
fire went out as he put his face in his palms. Andrew turned away, shaking his
head. So that was it? At best, we could sit up here and wait for the planet to
be destroyed? At worst, we could be down there as the planet is invaded and be
part of the invasion? Were those the choices we had?  

Allan
shook his head. “If I just had some advanced machinery, I could hardwire
and bypass the routines and regain control of the ship. I’d need an extremely
complex OS, an AI level adaptable sub-hardware routine.” 

I
tried to process the words he was saying once again. “What? You mean, like
a robot?”  

Allan
pushed his glasses back up his nose. “Well, more like an android, but
nothing like that exists on your planet.”  

I
pinched my nose. Why was my life just a series of convenient yet troublesome occurrences?
 

I
turned to Allan, looking him directly in those big bespectacled doe eyes of his.
“If I can get you a robot and we can get the ship back running, will you
help me stop this alien invasion?”  

Allan raised an eyebrow. “If you know of a robot, then we have an agreement.”  

“What
are you talking about, Jane?” Andrew asked.  

“Can
we get out of this room first?” I suggested. “We need to start making
some plans.”  

Allan
touched a small button on his wristband and a door seemed to appear out of
nowhere. Our small group was led out of the small room into an even smaller
corridor.  

“I
have to say, I expected everything to be a lot bigger,” Rune muttered as
he crouched down a narrow pathway. 

“Ships
are not made for convenience. They are a utility. You don’t walk around
comfortably in a minivan, do you?” Allan responded.  

“That
reminds me of something I wanted to ask,”
Andrew said.  

“Do
I have to answer?” Allan replied wryly.

Andrew
ignored him. “You’re supposed to be some kind of alien, right? Well, you
appear human.” 

“That
is a statement, not a question.” Allan continued on into a room that
looked a bit like a cockpit.

It
had five different seats but didn’t offer
a terrible amount of space.  

My
breath caught at the glass windows in front. I could see Earth hovering under
us, a sky absolutely bursting with stars; it was an incredibly beautiful sight.
I couldn’t take my eyes away. 

“Why
do you look like a human?” Andrew finished the question while giving a wry
look.  

“I
don’t look human. I appear like my own species. You see, all sentient
intelligent alien beings take on a form that roughly looks like you humans.
Some have ridges, or pointy ears, or green skin. However, every sentient
space-faring species more or less looks human. We breathe the same air, speak
pronounceable languages, and even have compatible reproductive parts.”
 

“Sounds
ridiculously convenient.”  

“It
is.”  

“Is
this some kind of cosmic destiny thing?” Andrew asked, genuinely
interested.  

“It’s
more an observation. The observation suggests that in order for a species to
develop a culture in such a way as to
become sentient and spacefaring, they
must possess three attributes: they must have opposable thumbs, they must stand
on their hind legs, and they must possess brains fed by a cardiovascular system
that utilizes oxygen. It is not made clear why these things must exist, but it
has become known as the Laws of Star-Typical Relational Evolutionary Kinship.
Or the Law of Star TREK for short.” 

“The
Law of Star Trek?” I burst in. That law does seem convenient on more than
one level.  

“Yes.
A federation was developed around the law of Star TREK. Believing in these
principals, we support its ideals and theory. This ship, in fact, is a ship
under the flag of Star TREK.”  

“What
about you?” Rune broke into the conversation. “You don’t seem to have
any strange features.”  

“My
species have large, irresistibly deep eyes. I wear these glasses to reduce
their effect on native women.” 

“What
are you even talking about? Your eyes are normal.” Rune laughed.  

Allan
pulled off his glasses. Instantly, the space outside seemed a lot less
interesting to me. His eyes were so deep and dark and he was so cute. I could
just stare into those deep pools forever and get lost. How did I never notice
how attractive he was? I wanted to look at him all day. His eyes were so
thoughtful, so emotional, and so powerful. I started to giggle.  

Allan
put his glasses back on. I blinked, looking around. Andrew and Rune seemed to
be holding me back from something. Both boys looked concerned as they pulled
their hands away from me. I straightened myself out. What was I just doing
now? 

“You’ll
probably want these back,” Allan said while straightening his shirt and
tossing a piece of clothing to me.  

I
snatched the clothing out of the air and examined it, my eyes widening as I
realized what it was.

“This
is my underwear!” I exclaimed, horrified  

“Yes.”
 

“Why
were you holding my panties?”  

“You
tossed them at me,” Allan explained.
Andrew and Rune gave slight nods to confirm it was the truth.  

“My
pants are on; how did I even get the underwear off?”  

The boys
all looked at each other, but it was Rune who spoke first. “We’re all kind
of wondering the same thing. We saw it happen and don’t even understand it. You
sort of just reached in there and … pulled them out.” 

I was
mortified, but I had to put on a strong face. I couldn’t let these boys see how
weak I could be.

“Never
take your glasses off ever again, Allan” I insisted.

Allan
nodded. Even he seemed a little startled at whatever I had missed a few moments
ago.  

I
decided it was time to change the subject. “So, you say all aliens are
very similar to each other. Can we use this to infiltrate their base?”
 

“First,
I would like to get my ship working. Where is this robot of yours?”  

“Well,
he’s not my robot; he just happens to be a robot. Do you know Ryan in the A/V club?” 

“I
have heard of him. Despite the fact you only gave me his first name, there is
only one Ryan in the entire school.”  

“How
convenient.”  

“It
is. Fortunately, the transporting for this ship is not locked out, being part
of a secondary routine. Another convenience.”  

Allan
typed a few buttons on his controller. “I have now teleported him to the
ship. Can you return to the teleportation room and bring him here? I will begin
overriding the system. I will need your help, Rune and Andrew, if you will?”
 

The
two boys nodded and I found myself crawling back down the tight-spaced hallway
to the back of the ship. Of course, it would have to be me who dealt with the
robot. I felt a little guilty about it. I promised the guy that I’d leave him
alone, and now I was dragging him into my crazy life. He was probably
completely freaking out right now.  

I
entered the teleportation room. The door had been left open and, for a second,
I feared Ryan might have wandered off
into some random part of the ship. My fears were alleviated when I saw he was
standing in the middle of the teleportation pad. It looked like he hadn’t moved
an inch since he had been teleported. He still had those headphones sticking
out of his ears and hanging loosely down his body as well.  

“Ryan,
I’m sorry; I know I promised that we’d pretend our meeting didn’t happen, but
some things came up since then.”  

Ryan
turned his head to look at me. “It is alright. Humans often make promises to me they do not keep.”  

I frowned
at the way he said that. However, he quickly turned away, staring seemingly at
nothing.

I
shook my head and moved to face Ryan once again. “This is a spaceship in
orbit around space. Are you familiar with these at all?”  

“No,
Mistress never showed me anything like a spacecraft before.”  

“Mistress?
So, you have some kind of master?”  

“Yes.”
Ryan turned back to me and nodded enthusiastically. “Mistress is the one
who created me.”  

“I’m
sorry; I didn’t take you away from your Mistress, did I?”  

Ryan
shook his head. “No, Mistress has not engaged with me in some time.”
 

“How
long since you last engaged with your Mistress?” I asked before I could
stop myself.  

“Two
years, three months, twelve days, seven hours, forty-five minutes, twenty-three
seconds since Mistress has last given me an order.”  

“Two
years?” I asked in surprise. “What have you been doing for two years?”
 

“I
have followed my base protocol; stay low and continue to execute routine maintenance
for peak efficiency.”  

“Where
does school come in?”  

“In
this body, I would look stranger away from school. As a student, I can remain
inconspicuous and volunteering for the A/V
club lets me have access to leftover
cables and broken devices I can scavenge for repairs. I will continue to follow
my commands until Mistress returns.”  

“You
seem shockingly open about this. Wouldn’t staying low mean you shouldn’t be
telling me this?”  

“I
am programmed to follow any command my Mistress gives until she countermands
it. One of my last orders was to follow the instructions of any person who gave
them to me.” 

“That
seems like an odd order to give …”  

“Not
at all. Mistress took great pleasure in giving me to others and allowing them
to order me.”  

“That
sounds very ominous.”  

“Ma’am,
was there a question associated with that?”  

I
sighed. I really didn’t have time to get into android politics. The world was
about to end.  

“If
I ordered you to repair this ship, would you help me do it?” 

“Yes,
ma’am.”  

I
went to make the order, but something about what he had said unnerved me. His Mistress
had ordered him to stay put and so he had for two years without question. She
told him to do whatever anyone asked. Some of Ryan’s reputation at the school
came back to me. He was considered a complete teacher’s pet. Also, a handful of
girls frequently utilized him as the courier
boy. It was always assumed he had a crush on one of the girls, but I was
beginning to think he was allowing them to use him. They were using him like
everyone else was using him. He was a thing to them. Something about that didn’t
sit well with me.  

“I
order you to do what you want to do.” The words came out of my mouth.
 

“Ma’am?
I do not understand the order.”  

The
thought that this was the right thing to do grew firmer in my mind.  

“Think
about what you want to do. I want you to do that. I’d like you to help me
repair the ship, but only if you want to help. I’m not going to order you.”
 

“No
one has ever given me an order like that before.”  

“Well,
what do you want to do?”  

Ryan
cocked his head for a second, seeming in thought, and then gave a nod. “I’d
like to go home and wait for my Mistress to return.” 

I
frowned; that wasn’t the answer I was hoping for.  

“Can
you please help me fix the ship?”  

Ryan
shook his head. “No. If my order is to do what I want, I would like to
continue to wait for my Mistress. Can you please return me?”  

I
grimaced. I had done this to myself.  

Ryan
frowned as he looked at the expressions on my face. “You are welcome to
recall the order, and then order me to fix the ship.”  

I
grimaced even more. This was wrong. Too much of this was wrong. A boy should
not be that much of a complete walkover. He should have spirit. He should have
confidence. He should be as caring and as determined as Andrew, or as fiery and
as spirited as Rune. He should be as loyal and steadfast as Daniel; and perhaps
even a little sensuality from Alex wouldn’t go amiss. He should be fun and
playful like Victor, smart and clever like Allan. He should be kind like … I
stopped, realizing what I was doing. That wasn’t fair. Not to me, not to Ryan,
and not to any of the other boys in my life.  

I
took a deep breath and started again. “Ryan, in forty-eight hours, a race
of aliens will attack Earth. Do you know what that means?”  

Ryan
cocked his head again before responding. “It means the Earth is in danger
of destruction.”  

“How
do you think your Mistress will feel if the Earth is destroyed?”  

“Mistress’
plans would be foiled. She would be very upset.”  

That
wasn’t exactly what I was looking for as an answer, but at this point, I took
it.  

“If
I can repair this ship, there is a chance we can stop this invasion from
occurring. Will you help me?”  

Ryan
thought about it for a second, cocking his head in a strange manner once again.
 

“I
will help you fix this ship,” Ryan finally answered, putting a smile on
his face; it seemed almost genuine. “By choice.”  

I
smiled back at Ryan, offering him my hand. He grabbed it and I led him back up
to the cockpit of the ship. As the pair of us walked into the room, I noticed
the three boys were staring at something laid out on one of the consoles. I let
go of Ryan’s hand as the three turned to us.  

“Well,
Jane.” Allan pushed his glasses back into place over his nose. “While
you were gone, we worked out a plan to save your planet. It’s risky and a bit
of a longshot, but I think it just might work.” 

Rune
gave me a grin. “Jane, how do you feel about wearing dresses?”  

I
looked back at the three boys, all of them watching me with curious looks. 

“I’m fine in a dress,” I answered back, patting the pocket with my underwear in it, “as long as the underwear stays on.”

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