Man of the House - The Man of the House – Chapter 111

“B-best two out of three!” The girl cried as I defeated her, in a fighting game.

“Best three out of five!” she declared after we tried a racing game.

“Haha! I won!” She declared on the third game.

“Of course, you won. Isn’t sports games your specialty?” Avery snapped.

“I’m not into sports games,” I admitted helplessly.

“Two more wins!” She insisted.

In the fifth game, I won. “Best four out of seven!”

“No! Just stop!” The girl with glasses shut off the monitor.

“Hey, we were still playing.”

“He beat you, plain and simple. He can be in the team.” She shot the younger girl a glare.

“What… but… I was just warming up.” The younger girl cried out, glancing between Avery and the other girl.

“I need to use the restroom.” Samantha, who looked extremely bored except when we were playing a shooter, declared. “See you in a bit.”

We barely acknowledged her taking off, as all of our eyes ended up on Avery, who was the ultimate decider. She threw up her hands helplessly.

“Yeah, whatever, they can join. We just need the handicap anyway.” Bethany let out a breath of relief upon Avery caving.

As for me, I had agreed to join Bethany, but if they had refused to let me join, I really wouldn’t have cared. I dusted off my pants and stood back up as the younger girl grumbled and put her stuff away. At that moment, I smelled a very flowery perfume, and the group of us turned to see four boys walking up to us. The one in front wore a lot of makeup, and his shirt was very tight on his body. He had blue-dyed hair and a piercing in his nose. If I was describing him, metrosexual would be the word.

“Hey, I saw you beating these girls. You’re not bad.” He declared. “How about you join our team instead?”

Bethany’s eyes widened, and she shot me a worried look as I might consider such a thing.

“They just accepted me on their team.” I tried to explain.

“They don’t seem happy about it.” He responded flippantly. “They seem like a bunch of anti-male chauvinists.”

“Hey! We like men!” Avery frowned.

“Boy, you can do better than these stinky women.” he ignored her and grabbed my arm. “Come with me. We’ll have much more fun together.”

“He’s with us!” The person who acted defiantly was the same younger girl who had been trying to get me off the team a few minutes prior. “Get your fat hands off him.”

He pulled his chin back in an indignant look. “Excuse me? Who was even talking to you?”

Her face turned red. “You’re just one of those philandrists.”

“What if I like men? They are certainly better than women. Do you know women bleed out of their crotches once a month? It’s disgusting!” He made a face. “Besides, I have big hands, so I can hold a big man.”

“H-he really is gay!” Avery’s mouth fell open.

“Ugh, you women are all the same.” He made a face before looking at me. “Last chance. We’re an all-male team and we’re going to make it to win this year. You can be on the right side of history, or just be a bunch of horny women’s token boy.”

“If there is a right side of history, I don’t believe it is with you,” I responded.

“Hmph… sadly, all the cute ones feel they need to objectify themselves for women.” He snapped his finger and spun around. “Let’s go, boys.”

The other three shot irritating looks before turning and following the lead boy. When they left, the girls finally breathed easier.

“Bunch of fucking whores.” Avery snapped.

“Dude!” The youngest one slapped her on the boob and nodded at me.

“Not you!” Avery lifted her hands as she gave me an embarrassed look. “You’re one of the good ones.”

“Mmm-hmm…” I raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry for earlier. We’re just a bit distrustful of men. Men tend to be backstabbing bastards,” the girl with glasses said.

“Some group you brought me into…” I shot an eye at Bethany, who broke into a blush.

“Brother, I’m sorry. Thank you for sticking around.”

“It’s fine.” I sighed. “It takes a lot more than that to offend me. I wouldn’t join that group even if they offered me money.”

“I see…”

“In that case, let’s go sign up.” Avery clapped her hands together.

The group of us came up to the table just as the all-male group finished registering. The girl who was registering us waved Avery over and then put a form in front of her.

“Put your team’s information here. I’ll need the names of everyone in your team.” He pointed right under where the boys had their team listed as “Pocket Rockets”.

The lead guy from earlier looked over at us and raised his nose. “Prepare to be under us in the listing from now on.”

With that, he turned and began to walk away. He walked in a way in which his ass popped back and forth. I made a grossed-out face until I realized that all the girls were staring at his butt. I slapped Bethany on the shoulder.

“Owe! I wasn’t looking!” She immediately acted defensively.

“I was…” The girl in glasses chuckled. “He may be a stud, but what I wouldn’t give to wreck that dick of his.”

“Dina!” Bethany gave a horrified cry.

“That’s right, we never introduced ourselves.” The younger girl spoke up. “I’m Katie, and this is Dina. Dina is in 9th grade, and I’m in 7th.”

“That young?”

Even Bethany was in 8th now, just one year away from high school. It seemed like Avery and Dina were the same age and grade as the twins. However, neither of them had that much of an interest in video games.

“Y-young! I’ll have you know that I’ve grown pubes and everything! You want to see!” She started pulling open her pants.

“Stop trying to show my brother your pussy!” Bethany grabbed the other girl.

“Will you put that flabby thing away?” Avery growled at her.

“I’m tight! I’m very tight!” She growled before looking my way with puppy dog eyes. “You believe I’m tight, don’t you?”

I nodded and gave her a thumbs up. “Of course, virgins are usually tight.”

The other three girls burst out laughing. It was the wrong thing to say, as Katie began sulking once again. The girl who had been servicing us waited patiently, although her mouth twitched slightly. It was hard to say if it was from hiding mirth, or disapproval.

“Alright, alright.” Avery waved her hands. “What do we want to call ourselves?”

“How about… Peach Pounders?” Bethany offered.

“Peach Pounders?” I made a face.

“I mean… we all know Peach is just a euphemism for sex anyway.” Avery declared.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, think about it. The main character is called Peach. She runs around all day jumping on top of mushrooms and turtle shells. Her primary attack is to pound herself against hard objects. She has to battle a fire-breathing dragon. Mario is a walking penis for Peach to conquer.”

“What is a fire-breathing dragon a metaphor for?”

“Gonorrhea.”

“I’m sorry I asked.”

“I don’t know. Peach Pounders sounds kind of gay.” Dina immediately disapproved. “It sounds like we’re the ones pounding the peach.”

“A peach is a word for vagina,” Bethany whispered to me.

“I know what a peach is!”

“How about Coinslot Quartet?” Dina offered.

“Well, there are five of us…” Avery raised an eyebrow.

“But only four of us have vaginas.”

“Why are you intent on naming it on your genitals?” I asked.

“You’re a guy, you wouldn’t understand,” Bethany responded seriously.

“How about Quarter in the Coinslots?” Avery snapped her finger.

“Am I the quarter?” I asked.

“That’s not important.”

“I’m not going in your coinslots.”

“Don’t be gross, Noah,” Bethany responded.

“Boys shouldn’t be gross. Get your mind out of the gutter, Noah.” Katie seemed to have recovered from her previous depression to make such a remark.

I sighed helplessly as Avery wrote out the information down. We ended up named Quarter in the Coinslots. It did have a bit of a ring to it, and as long as you didn’t think about it too much it wasn’t perverse. I supposed that was exactly what to expect from a group of perverted teenage girls. As they finished up registering, I heard some conversation in the distance.

“You’re pretty cute, you know? Do you have a boyfriend?” I turned to see a boy who had cornered Samantha.

He was being very forceful and was looking down on her with hands-on on both sides of the walls. Seeing a blushing Samantha, I immediately felt anger. I left the party of girls and walked across the large hall to where they were. As I got close, I could hear more of the conversation.

“I do have a boyfriend,” Samantha answered.

“He’s probably ugly. How about you go out with me instead?”

I reached them as Samantha’s mouth fell open, a loss of what to say.

“Excuse me.”

The guy glanced back, looked me up and down once, and then snorted and looked away. “Anyway, you’re looking pretty good. I’d bet you’d look better on me.”

Samantha had noticed I was there and gave me a helpless look. I cleared my throat once again. He finally turned back.

“Is there a problem?”

“Um… yeah, that’s my girlfriend,” I responded.

He raised an eyebrow, looking me up and down. “Yeah, well, I’m talking to her right now, so you’re just going to have to wait your turn.”

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

He spun and then pushed me. I wasn’t expecting it, so I fell back several steps, just managing to catch myself.

“I said, get lost, hoe. You look like a scrub in that outfit.” He made a gesture with his hands as if he was talking about my entire body. “She is way too cute for a slut like you.”

I felt as lost as Samantha. I could only let out an awkward laugh.

“Look, I’m sorry, but my girlfriend isn’t interested in you. Can you please just leave us alone?”

Our conversation was starting to draw some attention, and my team started to walk over along with a few other people. I felt better with my sister and the others behind me. I turned back to grab Samantha and be on my way.

“Ahhhh!” The guy suddenly let out a scream and leaped at me.

I was so shocked, I could barely react as he grabbed my head. He didn’t punch me though. Instead, he started scratching me with his nails.

“What the hell?” I barely managed to get out as he continued to scream like a banshee.

“It’s a dick fight!”

“Awesome!”

“They’re fighting over a girl, haha!”

I heard several voices that sounded like they were happy to watch the show. My sister and the rest of the girls were part of them. I was feeling my face get scratched. It wasn’t particularly painful, but it was annoying. I managed to push him away and shoot Samantha a look.

She gave a shrug. “I can’t hit a boy.”

He screamed and then jumped on me again. This time, I was able to keep him from grabbing my head. I looked frantically for help, but everyone there was a girl, and they seemed more interested in watching than doing anything to stop it. I managed to catch the interest of a nearby security guard. The female security guard looked over, but when she saw it was a dispute between two guys, she suddenly seemed less interested. What the heck was with these people?

“Stay the heck off of me! I mean it!” I shouted while trying to keep the crazy-ass guy away from me.

“You stupid hoe! You can’t even fight, you dick!” He charged me again.

This time, I had reached my limit, and I made a fist and punched. As he charged, he was struck right in the nose, his head whipping back. Blood began to leak from his nose. He looked down at me again, and then let out another scream.

I punched him again in the face, and then in the stomach, and then I kneed him in the groin for good measure. He collapsed to the floor like that. A second later, he started bawling, curling up in the fetal position.

“Waaah! Waaaah!”

I looked up to see Dawn standing nearby with a camera.

“The way brother fights isn’t cute at all.” Dawn shook her head in disappointment.

“They didn’t even tear off any clothing.” Someone else murmured.

The crowd quickly dispersed and only then did the security guard finally appear and grab me like I was the problem. I was escorted out of the building while the psycho guy was brought to the medic.

“I’ll overlook this because you’re a boy too, but next time you shouldn’t be so hard on boys.” The female security guard told me sternly.

My team walked out, and I lifted my hands. “What the hell was that?”

The girls looked at me disapprovingly and then walked by. Bethany was the last to pass me, and she stopped, giving me a somewhat sympathetic look.

“Maybe brother should fight more like a boy and less like a girl in the future.” She walked by.

Samantha was just passing by as my mood hit rock bottom. I immediately grabbed her arm and yanked her over.

“Y-yes, Noah?”

“We’re going to go have sex.” I narrowed my eyes at her.

“B-be gentle, sweetie!”

I wasn’t.